Idol Analysis
I have a few words based on last night's American Idol:

1. Never, ever replace disco with country music. I was set and pumped for a night of disco. Then I was hit by the disappointment of Ryan's announcement about switching things up, and this tainted my viewing of the entire show. Since they dug Olivia Newton John out from wherever she's been hiding lately, they should have at least done her songs for the evening. I'd have preferred to hear Let's Get Physical 10 times, rather than one single country song.

2. Josh the Marine - At first, I liked this guy. For one, he's a Marine. How can we not like that? Plus, he just seemed like a sweet, good-singing guy. Now, he tends to get on my nerves. I do believe he was in his element last night as a country singer, but his performance just really annoyed me. I didn't think he sounded good, and if he'd quit running all over the stage long enough to get a good look at him, I'd comment on how he looked.

3. Seriously, Ruben. You sing wonderfully, but surely there is another shirt you can wear without the 205??? Last night I expected him to bust out into some kind of country-rap, based on his attire. Word.

4. While I still do not like her, Kimberly C. finally gave a performance worthy of being considered a finalist, albeit a lower tier finalist. However, she seemed to have forgotten the lower tier of her shirt.

5. Corey, Corey, Corey. Wins again for Most Annoying Male Idol Wannabee. The see-through mesh shirt, worn frequently in the 80's, is just not something I ever wanted to see again. And while his performance was not as bad as last week, he may never be able to redeem himself with me. He's just stuck in my mind as one severely annoying dude. I cannot figure out why Paula is so in love with him.

6. Carmen, Happy Birthday. After you finish your homework and grow into this competition, then you can come sing with the rest of us.

7. I didn't realize how tall Clay really is, til he stood next to Ryan Seacrest on the stage. Ryan must be a midget, because Clay always strikes me as non-tall. Clay, another good performance. A little lacking on the excitement, but your peppy hair made up for it.

8. Kimberly not C., your performance was not memorable enough for me to make a comment.

9. Ricky, ditto. And it may be time to give the 'Hercules' voice a rest.

10. Trenyce. I just noticed she now only goes by Trenyce. No last name. She's assuming she's cool enough to be a just 'Cher', or 'Madonna', or 'Tyrant'? I think not.

11. Saved the worst for last. Julia should just quit trying, since Simon pointed out quite accurately that she appears to be trying too hard. Poor Faith Hill should burn all ties to Breathe after Julia got ahold of it. America, please send Julia home tonight. Put us out of our misery.

I should totally be a celebrity judge on Idol. I rock.

UPDATE: The Julia issue has been contained. She has been forcefully removed from the premises. I hear she scratched one of Ryan's eyeballs out as she was dragged from the stage. He'll be wearing a carefully coordinated eye patch the rest of the season. Ryan's injury aside, good job, America. You rose to the occasion, you rid us of Julia, and you've made me proud. With Julia out of the way, the 'shock and awe' phase of American Idol will now commence. Next target: Corey.

C.T.