Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I tend to be a bit of a scrooge when it comes to trick-or-treators.
As a kid, we celebrated my dad's Halloween birthday every year, instead of trick-or-treating. We still celebrate dad every year, but at the ripe old age of 30 I don't really care that I'm missing out on trick-or-treating. I never really missed it as a kid, either.

What we did instead of wandering around the neighborhood in search of candy from our neighbors was find inventive ways to avoid trick-or-treaters. We'd take my dad out to dinner for his birthday, like, all night. We'd stay gone for hours. Sometimes we'd stay home and hide in the basement with the lights out, the only light in the house coming from the T.V. with the volume turned low.

As such, I've become somewhat of an expert on thwarting attempts to trick-or-treat at my house. This year is no exception. Here was my strategy for the big day today.

First, I'm generally pretty mean to the kids in the neighborhood year-round. It's important to set that precedent at all times. I yell at them for running through my yard. I give them the stink eye when they wander too close to the driveway. I'm well on my way to being that crazy, mean old lady down the street.

Then, I worked late tonight. Turns out I had a lot of work to do anyway. This was convenient in aiding my anti-trick-or-treator agenda.

When I got home, I checked my mail without turning the porch light on. This almost landed me face down in my flowerbed, but I managed to stick the landing and get back indoors safely and undetected by lurking trick-or-treators.

Then I stumbled around my house with as few lights on as possible. I turned on the T.V., keeping the volume low, so as not to be heard from outside. I ate my dinner by candlelight. Not romantic, mind you. All part of the hideout plan.

I did buy candy, just in case. And by "just in case", I mean just in case I have to stay indoors for days to throw off any lingering trick-or-treators that might think it's a good idea to come knocking on my door say... tomorrow night. Not-so-fun size Snickers and candy corn, all for me. Take that, little kids in costumes!

And for my final touch this year... I turned on the sprinklers. Full blast.

No one rang my doorbell. No one begged at my door, asking me for food, money, love.

I called my dad for his official birthday greeting from me (we celebrated his birthday already on Sunday), I ate my Halloween candy.

Another successful anti-trick-or-treator year.



Thursday, October 26, 2006

I've been eating a lot of pickles lately
I tend to find a food and eat it all the time until I get sick of it. Then I find something else to take it's place. Until I get sick of that.

While I do like pickles right now, I don't like that there are only like, 6 pickles in a jar. This means I have to buy jars of pickles like, every week. Because I'm not about to sink so low as to buy a giant, economy size jar of pickles. As soon as I buy the giant jar of pickles, I'll get sick of them, and I'll be stuck with excessive pickles that I won't eat.

Last night I had pickles for dessert.

I hope pickles are good for me. Because I've been eating a lot of pickles lately.

I hope the next thing that I eat comes more than 6 in a jar.


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

This is my new favorite drink

Lipton Green Tea with Citrus

The first time I bought it, I thought I would like it. But I didn't.

But I had a whole case of it, so I had to drink it.

Then I decided I love it. And now I drink gallons of it by the caseload.

Drink it.


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Cable Conspiracy
Recently, Time Warner cable bought out Comcast in our area. While this may be a happy thing for Time Warner, so far I'm not so much happy with the change.

It happened yesterday. When I checked my mail I saw that I had something from Time Warner. It was the new channel lineup. Clearly they think this is a good thing. The envelope boasted this change as though it is very exciting for me....

Your new channel lineup enclosed! We're adding more than 35 new channels!

I was skeptical. And rightly so.

I currently have the most basic of basic cable. It's the local channels, a lot of spanish channels, plus TBS and my favorite, The Discovery Channel. I love Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs. I can't help it.

But these few channels are all I need and all I want. I don't need any more distraction.

Well, as I read over my new channel lineup, I quickly saw that Time Warner has all but destroyed my perfect channel setup.

No more TBS. No more Discovery Channel. Both of these have been moved to a higher tier of cable service. And replaced with.... C-SPAN.

Who watches C-SPAN????

The channel lineup also promised me that "now it's easier than ever to find my favorite channels!" Well, not so much easier to find if you don't offer them for what I'm currently paying anymore.

This means that in a few weeks, if I want to watch my beloved Mike Rowe slosh his way through more Dirty Jobs, I'll have to pay more for it. Plus, I'll have a bunch more channels that I don't want or need.

I'm not happy about this.

I mean.... My displeasure is enclosed! Now it's easier than ever to see that I'm unhappy about my cable service!!


Sunday, October 08, 2006

Just when I think my job is the most stressful job on the planet...
(and most days it is)

... watching 7 episodes of The West Wing makes me feel better about it.

Running the world everyday is probably much more stressful than my job.

At least some days.


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

LOST Season Premiere Check List

Me - check

TV - on and working

VCR - recording

Comfy spot on the couch - check

Two bottles of Lipton Green Tea - check

Two (not so) Fun Size Snickers - check

Peanut M&Ms (back-up snack) - check

Macbook, open and ready to take notes - check

Wireless internet - working

Warming up with a fresh episode of America's Next Top Model - check

I'm all set for an hour of LOST goodness.

T-minus 14 minutes and counting.

LOST, baby!!!!