What's in a name?
Apparently, whatever name you want. Here on American Idol 3, contestants seem to think changing their last names will somehow help their singing.

Take, for example, Leah. All we've heard from her is how Bulgarian she is. Her parents were famous singing people there in Bulgaria. She is all about being Bulgarian. So what does she do? We see her last night with the brand new last name of LaBelle, rather than her Bulgarian name of Vladowksi. Is it just me or does she not look like a LaBelle?

But whatever this name thing is, Group 3 performed last night and it was MUCH better than Group 2 last week. In fact, I think we would all be much better off to pretend Group 2 never even happened. Can we do that?

So, everyone sang. Yoder is Clay Aiken all over again. The end of his canned promo caught him saying that he is nothing like Clay. But didn't Clay sing "In the Still of the Night" last season, almost exactly like Yoder sang it last night? I swear he did.

I'm not sure what it is about the little guy, but I like Jon Peter, the pen salesman. He's not the best singer, but I like his weird voice and his personality. He won't win. But I like him (as does my Alliance co-hort. we may have to duel over him, or flip a coin for one of his brothers and hope they are as cool as J.P.).

Jonah sank. Bad.

Elizabeth is annoying. And oddly shaped for a dancer.

And then, as if from nowhere, comes LaToya. Before she went on stage, I tried to remember if I remembered her at all. I didn't. But then she blew everyone away with "All By Myself". Where did that come from? It was cool.

I predict the winners from last night will be Leah Labelle and LaToya London. But before they make the announcement tonight, they will switch last names: Leah London and LaToya Labelle. That makes more sense anyway.

The runner up will probably be Amy Adams. But that name won't get her past this round. If she's smart, she'll steal Leah's old name and become Amy Vladowski. Now that's the name of an Idol.

If they all change names each week, how will we know who wins?

In other news, this guy should change his name now. Way to go, Donnie. He hasn't even performed, yet he's already revived the spirit of Trenyce and Cory from the previous season. Will these Idol contestants never learn to stop getting arrested if you want to win the show?

And in still other news, I dreamed last night that Ryan Seacrest asked me out. Should I say yes? He seemed to really like me.

Now to America's Next Top Model, my Alliance co-hort best sums up what I had to say. Although last night the shots of Janice Dickinson seemed to me more like that of a really ugly drag queen. But that she could be a cyborg is also a very real possibility.

Anyway, my Alliance co-hort and I are in like spirit and sentiment about last night's episode, including the return of Catie's spirit making everyone cry as though she never left. The exception in our like spirit is the removal of Camille issue that is becoming a problem. If Shandi or Yoanna go before Camille does, I will be doing everything I can to put my Alliance influence towards the destruction of Tyra's new singing career. Yes, you heard me. She sings now.

Maybe I will change my name to Tyra. My motto, as we know, is that if Tyra can do it, so can I. By changing my name to Tyra, I feel confident my new music video will be out in about a week.

C.T.