Phashion Phases
I go through many phases in my life. A variety of shifts and changes, moods and attitudes. Some are monumental life-changing phases, others are just the phase that I'm in for awhile, until the next phase comes along.

But the most important phases for me are the phases of . . . my clothing. It's a four-tiered hierarchy, learned from my father, who is a slave to no fashion except the fashion of practicality and functionality. It is vital to my survival in the land of the sane. It's simple, but valuable beyond words to the productivity of my day to day existence.

For me, it goes something like this:

Phase 1- Workwear, day wear, business attire, possibly evening wear. Anything worn as a professional, on the job, or to an event. During the week, this is what I wear most often. When in Phase 1 attire, I'm presentable to the public, I look nice, I'm hip, fashionable, ready for the day. These are my good clothes. I feel good in them, most of the time. However, the drawback to Phase 1 attire is that it expires after approximately 8-9 hours of continuous wear. It is only good for being at work, or being out for a finite period of time. It then ceases to serve it's purpose, and must be removed at the earliest convenience and replaced with a subsequent Phase of clothing.

Phase 2 - Casual wear. This is the next stage in comfort after workwear. Jeans, casual pants, fitted t-shirts, sneakers, capri pants, and of course, cargo pants. Anything acceptable when hanging out with friends, going to a casual dinner, being out but not in a professional atmosphere. These are play clothes. This is what most friends see me wearing in social situations. It's relaxed, but still hip and fashionable. Acceptable with or without jewelry. Phase 2 is the most common and preferred choice for what to wear out of the house.

Phase 3 - This is where true comfort sets in. Sweatpants, knit pants, knit shorts, comfortable t-shirt, sweatshirt, socks, no shoes other than house shoes. This outfit does not impress anyone, except for the most comfort conscious. It's an intimate attire, seen only by those closest to you whom you are not afraid to show your less-glamorous side. These are extreme play clothes, including outfits for yardwork or general housework. Phase 3 often follows Phase 1 after a long day at work. When Phase 1 clothing expires, it is often desireable to skip Phase 2 and go directly to Phase 3 for an evening at home. This is my preferred Phase of clothing for a weekend with no plans. Almost any time I'm at home, you will find me in Phase 3. I look forward to Phase 3. I am a slave to comfort.

Phase 4 - This is the ultimate in comfort, summed up in one word: Pajamas. In Phase 4, you are ready for nothing other than climbing into bed and curling up for sleep. Your day is either completely over, or it has just begun. Flannel pjs, over-sized t-shirt, shorts for summer, no restrictive undergarments. Only your closest friends and loved ones ever see this Phase, and they only see it when they are also in Phase 4. It is acceptable to socialize in Phase 4 attire, but only when others are also in Phase 4 attire.

These Four Common Phases of Clothing are occassionally pre-empted by a fifth Phase: Phase 0. This is the formal phase- nice dresses, suits, high-heels, sparkly jewelry. Clothing for proper occassions, weddings, fancy parties, romantic occassions. It's a step above Phase 1, reserved only for emergencies of needing to look your absolute best for a brief period of time.

It is important to remember that these Phases do afford some flexibility. It is not necessary to follow the Phases in sequential order, meaning it is legal to skip one Phase to hasten the arrival of the next Phase. Also, some elements of each Phase can overlap between Phases, to a small degree, and usually in a Phase-forward manner (ie: depending on the person, elements of Phase 2 could be considered casual or comfortable enough for inclusion in Phase 3, and so forth). Although in some instances, particular articles of Phase 2 clothing can also be considered acceptable workwear for Phase 1 (ie: a borderline shirt that can either compliment a nice pair of workpants, or settle in with a comfortable pair of jeans for a casual dinner).

However, it is not acceptable to consider any elements of the highest Phases as appropriate for the lowest Phases (ie: flannel pajama pants are not acceptable in Phase 1 for business attire, house shoes from Phase 3 should not be worn with anything from Phase 0). And once you have entered a higher Phase for the day, it is rarely acceptable to retreat into a lower Phase until the twenty-four hour day has ended and a new Phase Cycle has begun (ie: once you've hit pajamas in Phase 4, it is rarely acceptable to backtrack to Phase 1 for a night out). Phase 4 signals a definite end to the day, and to activities away from home. A Phase Cycle begins when your alarm goes off to start your morning, and lasts until the next morning when your alarm goes off again.

It is also appropriate to announce your Phase, signaling to others where you are in your day. Especially when succumbing to Phase 4, it is important to let those around you know that you are heading for Phase 4, so that nothing else is excpected of you for the rest of the day.

The Four Phases of Clothing is not to be taken lightly. I share it with you so that you may better understand the fashion trends of the Tyrant, and so you may also adopt the ways of the Phases of Clothing, if you so desire.

It has changed my life immeasurably.

And comfortably.

C.T.