The Tyrant's Official Statment Regarding the Super Bowl Halftime
Everyone else has a statement. It is time for the Tyrant to speak on the issue.

Representatives of the Tyrant have released an excerpt quoted, censored and edited from a completely superfluous post-Super Bowl interview with the Tyrant that never actually happened:
"The question here is not, was there, or was there not, a bare b--b blatantly broadcast on national television. We all know what we think we saw, and consequently I am not sure what that was, or where I was when it allegedly happened. However, the real issue here is whether the b--b in question was intentionally set free, or was this an accidental b--bing.

As a third party, un-involved, I cannot comment on the validity of the actions in question, nor to the motivation of the incident, whether accidental or purposeful in nature. I can, however, only make the claim that the same exact thing may, or may not, have happened to me once. And it is precisely the reason why I broke up with Mr. Timberlake.

Therefore, Ms. Jackson's involvement being predominantly moot at this juncture, the issue of malfunctioning wardrobe is secondary only to the fact that Mr. Timberlake should be kept at least fifty feet away from all wardrobes, or wardrobe-like apparatus, henceforth, indefinitely.

Safety first. We must think of the children. And the wardrobes."

End quote.