UPS Warning
This is a public service announcement. Apparently there is a rogue UPS delivery person on the loose, holding packages of Barney merchandise hostage, for no apparent reason. I knew I should never have lifted my Barney Boycott.

I arrived home after work on Friday to see a note from Mr. UPS saying he'd attempted to deliver the item I ordered from Barney World for my cousin's kiddo. Since I wasn't there to receive the package he would try again on Monday before 5:00. Usually UPS leaves packages at my apartment office when I'm not there to greet them. Upon closer inspection of the note, the box was checked for 'signature required'. This was odd, since I didn't request a signature confirmation when I paid for shipping. But I guess I can't blame the guy for wanting my autograph.

So, Monday when I left for work, I signed the back of the note, which authorizes delivery of the package. I left the note on my door with a message to leave the package at the apartment office, since I knew I wouldn't make it home before 5:00. However, when I arrived home, I found another note on my door saying the office was closed, and that Mr. UPS would try to deliver again on Tuesday after 5:00. Again, I thought this was odd since the office is always open during the day, so if he truly came before 5:00, as his note specified, he would have been able to leave the package at the office. I began to suspect Mr. UPS was playing a game with me and my Barney package. I was seriously not in the mood to be hassled by Barney, or UPS.

Tuesday, I again left a note on my door, signing the back of the slip in the appropriate spot, and leaving instructions to just leave the package in front of my door. The office would be closed if he came after 5:00, and I was not sure when I'd make it home for the evening. I doubted anyone would steal it, and even if they did, they'd be sorely disappointed to receive a Barney hat for their efforts of climbing three flights of stairs. And I'd be out ten bucks. No big deal.

I arrived home late Tuesday evening to find yet another note, and still no package. The note said this had been the final delivery attempt, and left instructions on how to get my package, or it would be sent back to Barney world. I was furious! Can Mr. UPS not read my handwriting? Why can't he just leave the dang package!!! I'd ordered one simple little thing, in an attempt to do something nice for this kiddo, and now it was turning into a major hassle. Time was growing short. I would be seeing the kiddo in a few days, and if I didn't get the hat before then, the hat would have to live in my house for awhile. That was something I did not want. No Barney en la casa.

I called UPS to get to the bottom of the situation. This was no simple task. I found you have to go through about a million questions and punch in a gazillion numbers and speak a bazillion spoken responses, and even do a strange jig (which again I thought was odd), to finally get to a real live person. By the time I made it through the phone gauntlet, I was a wee bit frustrated with UPS.

I explained the situation to the poor girl who was unlucky enough to draw my call. She started to let me know my options to pick up my package. PICK UP??? Um, no. I paid to have the thing delivered, because it is convenient. If I have to pick it up, I want my $3.95 back. Besides, if I wanted to pick something up, I would have forced myself to go to Toys R Us and sift through the kids and the Barney mess there. Now that I am running short on time, I certainly do not have time to find this mysterious UPS package holding location, and retrieve my package. It had already been to my house three times. It was not my fault it was not allowed to stay here. It can certainly find it's way back to me without me having to chase it down.

I asked for another option. She said they could re-deliver again in two days. Two days? What is that? It was supposed to be here last Friday, so why do we now need to give it a day off? Besides, there was still the whole mysterious signature issue. I would still likely not be here during the day in two days to give a signature, and since Mr. UPS seems unable to make it to the office or to leave the package alone at my door, we would run into the same problem in two days. The girl offered to redirect it to another location. So I very clearly spelled out the location of my place of employment for redelivery in two days. She assured me that anyone at my office can sign for the package, but if no one is available when Mr. UPS arrives, the package will go back to Barney World.

By the way, about that signature thing? I asked her. I explained that I did not request a signature confirmation, so I was very confused as to why my signature was required to deliver the package. She said signatures are requested by the shipper, even though she couldn't check to see if Barney World had in fact requested my signature. And even if I sign the slip of paper the driver does not have the authority to override the shipper's instructions. Bottom line, without a signature from me or someone accepting the package on my behalf, I ain't getting that package. It still didn't make sense to me, but I finally turned the girl loose and hung up the phone.

This was all sounding very strange to me. Why would Barney World request a signature on something, a cheap something, without telling the customer so arrangements can be made to supply a signature of some sort? It's not like I'd ordered Barney himself to be delivered to my door. You can bet I'd not sign for him, either. I'd leave him in that box and let him ride around in the UPS truck til they send him back from whence he came.

I decided to contact Barney World customer service and let them know of my dissatisfaction. I wanted to get to the bottom of this signature situation. I knew no good would come from breaking the Barney Boycott. But I did it, and now I was paying for it.

Barney World very promptly emailed me back in response to my complaint about the three delivery attempts and the signature request issue. They said it is the discretion of the UPS driver to require a signature, and that Barney World does not require a signature unless the customer requests it. Wha-huh? Do they think I'm as easy to fool as the toddlers who fall in love with a huge purple dinosaur? It makes no sense that UPS drivers can just drive around, adding signature requests to any packages at their own discretion, holding merchandise hostage until they get the appropriate autograph. And since I didn't require the signature, why would Barney World decide to require one on a $10 hat?

Barney World accepted no responsibility for the problem, but hoped I worked everything out with UPS so that I can soon enjoy my Barney product. Likewise, UPS accepted no responsibility for the problem, but really didn't care if I enjoyed my Barney product or not.

So I'm here to warn you that there apparently is a rogue UPS driver on the loose, requesting signatures on Barney merchandise at his whim. He apparently likes to attempt to deliver a package several times for several days, finding no obstacle in repeatedly climbing flights of stairs in carrying out his master plan. It's likely a conspiracy between Barney World and UPS. In fact, I don't even think Barney is real. Or UPS, for that matter.

You can bet I'll be watching out the window all day tomorrow, alerting all staff to be on the lookout for Mr. UPS and that dang Barney package. They will have strict instructions to sign for anything delivered here tomorrow, no matter who delivers it or what it is. The kiddo will get that hat on time, and he will like it . . .

C.T.