I Hate Barney
I haven't just discovered that I hate Barney. I've experienced this hatred for many years now. But for the record, I need to re-state that I loathe the purple beast named Barney. Why re-state this? Because I've just violated my long-standing Barney Boycott.

My cousin has a three year old son. I absolutely adore this kid. He is without question the cutest, most adorable, absolutely perfect three year old on the planet. Well . . . almost perfect. He has one major flaw. He loves Barney. And when I say 'love', I mean lives, breathes, and is all things Barney.

I've never seen a kid so nuts for Barney. He has all the videos, so whenever it's movie time you know your options are Barney, Barney, or Barney. He sings along. He dances. He plays along and acts out the videos. Spending time with him, or in his vicinity always results in leaving with that stupid Barney song stuck in your head for hours afterwards.

I tried to entice him away from Barney. I decided by the age of three he should be learning and experiencing things outside of Barney world. For his birthday I sent him a non-Barney toy, because I do not, under any circumstance, spend my hard earned money on Barney knick-knacks or paraphernalia. I searched long and hard and found these really great blocks, kinda like giant Legos, only slightly different. They come in a special storage bag for neatly putting away the blocks, and they are dishwasher safe. A mother's dream! I knew these blocks would be a hit for the kiddo, as well as for my cousin and his wife.

So, what does he do with the blocks? He builds a castle for Barney, because Barney lives in a castle. Duh. Apparently Barney cannot be defeated. Once he has a hold on a youngster, he just doesn't let go.

I will be visiting the youngster for Easter, and I decided to bring him a treat. I asked my mom for suggestions. I've racked my brain. I can think of nothing that will top a Barney something-or-other. So, I caved. I broke the Barney Boycott. I bought him a hat with Barney and Friends right smack on the front in the middle. Why did I choose this hat? Because Barney wears a crown in his castle. And up until now, the kiddo has been wearing a plastic tupperware bowl on his head, insisting that it is a crown just like Barney's.

If he's going to be obsessed with Barney, he should at least be dressed properly. No relative of mine needs to wear a bowl for a crown.

I hate Barney . . .

C.T.