Commercials, and therefore products, I Loathe
My understanding of advertising via television commercials is to entice the consumer into wanting and purchasing a product or service. So, why have people created so many commercials that do nothing but annoy me? This seems not to coincide with the logic of enticement, since the commercials only succeed in leading me to loathe whatever they advertise. I am therefore boycotting the following commercials and their related products. These are the first in what I'm sure will be a long on-going list of commercials and products:

1. Michelina
There is a reason The Macarena died a quick death, and is now a phenomenon of which humans are forbidden to speak. The reason is not so that the song could be revived as the theme song for Michelina frozen dinners. Whoever thought this was a good idea was very, very wrong. People doing the 'Michelina' dance in the frozen food section or in the office does not make the song or the commercials any better. Therefore, I will never purchase or consume a Michelina dinner.

2. Any commercial starting with the sound of an alarm clock
One that comes to mind is the Doritos commerical with Tony Hawk on his skateboard. All alarm clocks on TV sound like my alarm clock. Since I hate the sound of my clock because it means I have to wake from my peaceful sleep and go to my dreaded job, to hear a similar alarm clock sound any time during the day only causes rage and hostility to arise within me. Therefore, I will not eat those Doritos in the easy access can, or partake of any other products sold by use of an alarm clock in a commercial.

3. Snuggle
That little bear is the creepiest stuffed animal I've ever seen. The commercials using the porcupine and other animals as Snuggle pitch-animals are just as creepy. I have to admit I currently use Snuggle, but the more I see that bear, the more I fear the product. The status of this boycott is TBA.

4. Geico
Enough with the gecko lizard already. We get the joke, but the commercials that were never really clever have definitely moved beyond nearly-clever and are now just annoying. Therefore, I will never switch to Geico for my insurance needs.

5. Wal-Mart smiley face
Seriously, I hate the smiley face. Unfortunately, I am a Wal-Mart shopper. But Wal-Mart should take some pointers from the Target commercials, so I'm not completely embarrassed by my Wal-Mart shopping experience. If Target can become cool, so can Wal-Mart.

6. Pier One
Please send Kirstie Alley back to wherever you found her. Because she is so annoying in and of herself, I therefore boycott Pier One.

7. 10-10-220, 1-800-CALL-ATT
These are two competing products, but individually so annoying that I consider them one horrible line of advertising. Whoever thought Alf and Hulk Hogan were good competition for Carrot Top was way off. I therefore boycott the use of these long-distance dialing services, and will continue to not call anyone long-distance.

8. Radio Shack
If you continue to insist on using Howie Long, Vanessa Williams, Ving Rhames, and Teri Hatcher for these horrible commercials, I will never again set foot inside a Radio Shack. There is nothing in there that I can't get at Best Buy, where I'm not already annoyed before I enter the store.

9. T-Mobile
Why, oh why, did Catherine Zeta-Jones ever sign on to this ad campaign? Since she is now an Oscar winning actress, she should sever all ties with T-Mobile, fire off a cease and desist order to immediately pull all of these commercials from the air, and have another kid.

I'm so annoyed right now just blogging about these commercials, I will have to pick this up again another time.

The moral of the story is, if you value the consumer influence of the Tyrant, don't annoy her with silly commercials and spokespeople.

C.T.