Carmen for President
Seriously, why should she stop at Miss American Idol 2003? She clearly can't be stopped, so she should just keep going until she rules the universe.

Most of what I predicted for last night's show happened. Except that Kimberly Caldwell was booted, in lieu of Joshua. And Kimberly Locke was spared the bottom three. Deservedly.

I totally saw Ruben toss Clay, and Carmen could hardly wait to bust out her tiara and sash. Not only did Trenyce steal Ryan's hairpiece, she stole a small child from the third row. I saw the whole thing. The kid must have been wearing Old Navy.

And did anyone else see Kimberly C. kiss Carmen? There may be some truth to that whole K.C. as drag queen rumor from awhile back. . .

I'm dumbfounded about Carmen. I mean, I knew she would not get kicked off last night, but it still makes no sense that she should still be on the show. I think the only thing that could hurt her at this point is if her head just simply fell off and it was replaced by the top of a wooden totem pole. And that would only hurt her because the effect of her hypnotic eyes and warbling vocal tones o' mind control would be replaced by an immobile and silent wooden head, causing her to soon lose power over the 21 million homeless people voting using the free cell phones she bought them.

Can next week's show be a death metal theme? Perhaps some gangsta rap? I'd love to see Carmen sing her way out of that, complete with the gold lame pants.

C.T.