Idol Wha-huh???
Ok, stop. Hold the phone, since apparently all America did was hold the phone and stare it when it was time to vote in such a way so that Carmen would be gone right now. What the heck happened last night? Not only is Carmen still with us, SHE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE BOTTOM THREE!! I question the voting accuracy of combining the votes from last week with this week, because this week totally didn't match last week, and I find that hard to believe. Something fishy is going on, and it's making a mockery of the Blog Alliance. America, do you realize what you've done? Forget the longterm plan of the Alliance. We now have to listen to Carmen for another week.

How did this happen? Does Carmen's daddy own American Idol or something? Has she formed a secret pact with Julia Demato, who may have been the sacrificial lamb of this dastardly duo, to somehow secure more votes than she deserves? Does most of America not have ears to hear the completely awful Carmen performance this week, and every other week? Come on! She was begging to be booted from the show! She wants to be home in time for prom, people! Did you see her face when Rickey was announced into the bottom three? She knew she was going home last night, and quite obviously couldn't believe it herself that she got to stay on that dang couch.

Hmmmm. Maybe we should be evaluating the seating arrangement on the couch each week. The couch could be behind the whole thing. . .

Ok, and then what was with the Ruben dreaming of multiple Carmens music video? Seriously, Idol has to be taunting us. They threw it in our face that Carmen gets to stay another week by cloning her in that ridiculous video. Poor Ruben. Carmens everywhere he looked. Couldn't escape her. I'm beginning to know what that feels like. . .

Well, I'm quite shaken up by this. I wasn't particularly sad to see Ricky go, but it wasn't his time, yet. Sorry, Hercules. However, this is a minor setback. Clearly, the initiative is still to remove Carmen post haste. America, could you really live with yourself if Carmen became the next American Idol? Have you completely lost your mind? No more messing around. Obviously she has a few tricks up her sleeve, so we need to get serious. She must be using something hypnotic, I'd imagine. She's not going without a fight. So, we're going to have to play dirty now.

Obviously the most effective way to get people off this show is to reveal their hidden past of porn or criminal activity. Surely Carmen has a dark secret lurking somewhere. She's way too innocent to actually be so innocent. Has she killed anyone? Embezzled from the cheerleader fundraising stash? Vandalized a national monument? Was she caught drunk underage and topless at Mardi Gras? Did she steal the Old Navy clothes from Trenyce after Trenyce stole them from Old Navy? Perhaps she used to be a man? (Carmen for a girl's name? I don't think so.) Come on, America. Start researching. I need a mug shot with Carmen's name on it right now.

The night was not a total loss. I did discover my new career: American Idol Dancer. They were just too cool for words, and were the best part of Kelly Clarkson's performance. I do like Kelly, but it's all about the song choice, people. That song wasn't it.

Well, I'm exhausted and emotionally distraught. I will take some time to regroup, then forge ahead.

C.T.