Days Since Last Puke Incident: 3
Previously it was approximately 2,555 days and counting. But the Easter Bunny apparently brought me the flu for Easter this year. Or something resembling the flu. Whatever it was broke my seven year puke-free streak. Now I must start the count over again.

To be puke-free for so long is a major accomplishment for me. I was a very pukey kid growing up. For one reason or another, whatever illness I had at any given time would inevitably lead to spewing at some point. Especially the migraine headaches. Those were vomit-sure, without a doubt. Puking became one of a few major things that I absolutely hate to do. I try to avoid it at all costs.

As I got older, I slowly began to outgrow the puke-iness. To the best of my recollection, my last puke incident was sometime during my sophomore year in college. Since then, I've managed to be sick, but without the puke. Until Easter night a few days ago. . .

I have a funky tummy, in that it acts up more than it should, for a variety of reasons. But, usually at the opposite end of puke, if you know what I mean. It makes life interesting, but I can manage it fairly well by watching what I eat and investing in Immodium by the case load. I've grown used to it, and since I refuse to go back to the doctor since I feel I've seen more doctors for more ailments already in my lifetime than any human being, or lab rat, should ever have to see, I deal with the problem myself. Most days, I'm good and functioning like a normal human being. But sometimes, well, I'm not so good.

So when the problem is not what I'm used to, and things are returning to me out of an orafice further north than usual, it totally freaks me out. I head for the toilet expecting things to come out one way, and I'm in total shock when it arrives via another venue. These are times when I desperately want my momma.

This was the case for Easter a few days ago. A perfectly lovely visit with my Mamaw and family ended with a puke-fest of epic proportions. Apparently celebrating the resurrection of Christ resurrected everything I ate for the occassion. It left me stranded a day away from home, but in the care of my dear Mamaw. Who, incidentally, was also completely freaked out by my puke-induced possession. If there was an exorcist available in the small town where Mamaw lives, I'm sure she would have put in a call post haste.

So, three days and counting. Now puke-free. That's me.

C.T.