Idol Themes
Continuing with my obsession about American Idol, in the final days of the current Idol season I feel it is important to blog about the show as much as possible. In a few short weeks the show will be over, and I will lose yet another good source of blog material. Until the show resurfaces for the next season, that is.

So, here are some song themes I'm glad we did not have to suffer through during this season of American Idol:
1. Andrea Bocelli, the Three Tenors, Charlotte Church, Josh Groban, et all-
While these singers are respectable in their genre, I am thankful we did not have to endure a Julia Demato crap version, or a Lance Corporal Josh country version of 'The Prayer'.

2. Whitney Houston-
Ain't enough crack in the world that could make me want to listen to an hour of Whitney, sung by people who don't sweat enough to do her songs justice. Plus, I don't think she could make it through an hour of being a celebrity judge without getting into a cat fight with Paula Abdul. Or Randy. Or Simon. Or Trenyce.

3. Celine Dion-
Nothing against The Celine personally, but ain't enough crack in the world to make me want to sit through an hour of 'The Theme from Titanic'.

4. Michael Bolton-
I can't even think of anything he sings off the top of my head, but I do know I hate every song he's ever sung. I don't even think the Idol-ees could make it any worse, and I'm glad they didn't get the chance to try.

5. Christina Aguilara-
I realize just about every contestant of the thousands of contestants during the nation-wide search sang 'Genie in a Bottle'. But that has never been, and will never be, a good song. Thank goodness I don't know any of her other songs, and we did not have to explore what they are.

6. Chicago-
Not the musical. The group. I'm basking in the glory of not having heard that song from Karate Kid in quite a long time.

7. Chicago-
The musical. Or any other musicals, for that matter. Not that I don't enjoy a good musical now and then, but I'm not interested in hearing bad versions of good musicals.

8. Michael Jackson-
This one is almost too obvious to mention. Not that I wouldn't enjoy a few of his classics, like 'Billie Jean', or 'Beat It', or 'Bad', but he'd probably bring more of his home movies and make everyone watch, and we'd all be really bored. Plus, he's creepy.

9. Dixie Chicks-
In light of all the controversy with Frenchie and Corey Clark, I really think it was a good decision to not bring in the Chicks. I mean, there is only so much controversy that Idol can handle. Plus, they'd probably show up naked, and this is a family show.

10. Mariah Carey-
I don't know what to say about this one, except that I'm just really glad we didn't go there.

Now, with just a couple weeks left in the competition, I would like to offer a few suggestions for the final song themes:
1. Gloria Estefan-
I would like to single handedly spark a comeback for her, and encourage Clay to let the rhythm get him.

2. Destiny's Child-
The contestants have just not been bootylicious enough this season. I am quite ready for their jelly.

3. Aerosmith-
I mean, there are just too many good classics here to let the opportunity pass. Bring in Steven Tyler as a celebrity judge, and let's start livin' on the edge.

4. Pink-
I would like to hear three different renditions of 'Get This Party Started'. K. Lo with a slow, sultry version. Clay, with a big Broadway version. Ruben, with a teddy bear-ish version. Whatever that may be.

5. Donnie and Marie-
Too bad for Josh, he will miss his opportunity to be a little bit country. But let's go ahead and bring in the Osmonds, and get to the rock and roll.

6. Drinking Songs from Around the World-
I just think this would be entertaining. That's all.

7. Kenny Rogers-
But only if Will Sasso from MadTV will come as Kenny Rogers for his celebrity judge appearance, and play him drunk and insane as he usually does. I don't like Kenny Rogers, nor do I have any idea what he sings. I just think Will Sasso as Kenny Rogers on American Idol would be stinkin' hilarious.

8. Cher-
She's on her farewell tour. Might as well say farewell on Idol, too. And loan the Idol-ees some of those sweet wigs for the show. There just have not been enough wigs this season.

9. Sheryl Crow-
She's been the official spokeswoman-artist-singer for just about every other commercialized event on the planet lately. I cannot believe she hasn't hit Idol, yet. We need the Crow.

10. Paula Abdul-
Why haven't they done this already? It seems to make perfect sense. Straight Up.

I also think, as a final twist to the show since all of the reality shows are adding dramatic 'twists' these days, they should allow a loyal and obsessed fan come in as a celebrity judge. Seeing as I'm already a celebrity, and clearly quite knowledgeable about the show and music and whatnot, I pick me.

Do you think if I just show up and sit in that extra fourth judge's chair they will understand the twist and let me stay?

C.T.