I Wish I Had a Superhero Name
Why? Because people remember superhero names.

When I was in college, I had an internship at a radio station. One of the 'big-wig' DJs managed to never get my name right. But it was never the same name twice. At that time, it was humorous. The guy was kind of an idiot, but he thought he was a big deal, so he was always trying to impress us 'little people' by calling us by name when he'd pass us in the hall. Except without fail, he'd never get my name right. As many times as I corrected him, he was still oblivious to the fact that he always called me by the wrong name any time we'd meet. Tracy, Tammy, Tori, even Trixie. None of those are actually my name. Trixie? Does anyone think I really look like a Trixie? Are people even really named Trixie? I don't think so. Not regular people, anyway.

Once out of school, at a previous job I went through a long phase where no one could spell my name correctly. Having a non-common name, I'm used to this to a certain degree. It's no big deal. But this was a unique take on having no clue how to spell a name. It was a strange epidemic affecting people all over the country who had no connection to each other, except me. People could remember my name, at least. They just either didn't care to try to spell it right, or it was apparently an impossible name to spell. Every fax, email, letter, package sent to my attention would have my whole department laughing, just seeing what variation of my name would appear on said deliveries. We waited with great anticipation for people to send me things, just to see the latest version of my name. Bizarre spellings, often things that weren't even close to my actual name, or actual English words. I eventually gave up trying to spell my name over the phone to clients or whoever. It didn't matter how much I tried, I'd inevitably see my name spelled incorrectly on almost anything coming my way. We decided to make it a secret contest for the weirdest misrepresentation of my name. I'd cut them out and save them, proudly displaying them on my cubical wall. I don't remember the winner, but the whole thing was quite hysterical.

At my current job, I've worked here for over a year. One of my co-workers still calls me the wrong name almost every time he sees me. He calls me Tracy. I assure you my name is not Tracy. I've told him my name is not Tracy. He knows my name is not Tracy. We don't even have a Tracy in the building. He remembers after he says it, but still. By now he should get it right the first time. This is no longer humorous. It's annoying.

And I think the culmination of all the name blunders has left me in a huge identity crisis. At this point I'm wondering if I have a face, and if so, does it change for every person that I come into contact with, so that I am unrecognizeable as the same person that I am, from person to person. Who am I? What do I look like? Have you seen me before? What is my name? It's all very confusing.

So, I figure if I have a superhero name, people would definitely remember me and my name. And I can know for sure and with confidence who I am. I just don't know what my superhero name should be. Cynical Tyrant isn't actually my name, nor is it a superhero name. It's purely my blog moniker. I don't refer to myself as the Cynical Tyrant outside of this arena. I need something catchy. Something brave, valiant, and interesting. Something commanding respect. Something smartly humorous, yet not ridiculous. Something that leaves an impression. Something that sums me up, so that when people hear my name they know that it is me. And when they know that it is me, they also make no mistake about my name.

One thing I know, I am not Trixie. And I might need a cape to go with my superhero name.

C.T.