Idol: The Final Two
FOX should really think of another name for their elimination 'show'. Because in all honesty, it's truly an elimination 'five minutes', with a bunch of other junk to keep the audience trapped there for a full hour. I'm a fan of Idol, but really. Enough is enough.

Last night we found ourselves in deep suspense for 55 minutes as to who would be sent home, and which two Idol-ees would remain to duel for the title of American Idol. During those 55 minutes, I became extremely ADD, and therefore flipped the channels for most of the hour.

My first pass by the 'show leading up to the elimination five minutes' landed on the Triumphant Trio singing a medley of something. Flip. Not interested. I hate to admit it, but the final episode of Dawson's Creek, in which the WB had promised me that someone would die, was way more interesting than the filler junk on Idol last night. I hate Dawson's Creek of Whiney, Overly-Dramatic, Doom n' Gloom People, and I never watch it unless my tv just happens to land on it and my finger suddenly breaks and I therefore can't physically change the channel. But if they are killing someone off, it's worth a pass by every few minutes, while making the rounds through my 8 channels, courtesy of rabbit ear antennae. They should have started off-ing people several seasons ago. Then they might have earned my viewership on occassion. And these angst-filled characters would finally have something to be depressed about.

My second pass by the 'one really long AT&T and Nokia commercial leading up to the elimination five minutes' resulted in Tamyra Gray singing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow', with her very own guitar person. Good for her, snagging a guitar dude! I decided that was worth a watch. While she sounded a bit shakey at first, she finished strong. Good to see her. Totally dug the 'fro hair, including Ryan getting his sleeve caught in it. Good Idol fun. Flip.

Apparently Jen is the one dying on Creek. Sadly, I'm not sad about it. And it's only 45 minutes into the two-hour show. Goodness, she has to die for a long time tonight. Flip.

My third pass by the show 'all about Ryan Seacrest, oh and we have an elimination five minutes' almost lost me for the rest of the night. What did I just say yesterday about 'Unchained Melody?' There, to my horror, was Justin Guarini belting out an over-dramatic version of this song that I can't stand to hear anymore. Seriously, why must every contestant in every audition sing this song? Or 'Genie in a Bottle?' Justin isn't even auditioning anymore. Pick another song! I guess his appearance a few weeks ago on Idol and the singing of one of his own songs proved he needs to steer clear of his own songs. That song was not good. But 'Unchained Melody' is worse. Always.

And is it just me, or is tonight's show basically American Idol: Season One again? Do all the non-winners of the past get a chance to sing tonight? If Nikki McKibben shows up during this show, I swear I am so outta there. Ryan promises results after the break. Flip. Quickly. Justin is still unchain-ing.

Commercial on Creek. Must everything on tv tonight be drawn out to excruciating lengths? Flip. Results on the way.

After 3 more breaks, that is. I realized after Justin's song that there were still 30 minutes left in the show. Of course they wouldn't announce the results until the very stinkin' end. But I was determined not to miss the precious results announcement. Not that I couldn't find it online later in the evening, or this morning, and be just as satisfied. But for some strange reason I quit flipping and hung with Idol. I'm nothing if not semi-loyal.

My question is, how in the world did FOX justify this show as an hour-long show? Why torture the loyal fans by holding them hostage for an unnecessary extra 30 minutes? Take out the fluff about Ruben, Clay, and K. Lo and their big day out on the private jet, signing autographs and throwing a baseball like a girl. We don't care. Make it a 30 minute show.

108 commercial breaks later, K. Lo gets the boot, in a seriously dramatic and nail-biting announcement moment. Are the Creek writers scripting this show, too? I mean, Clay and Ruben did a great job of pretending they really thought they could go home tonight. But, we all knew it would be K. Lo. And so it was. I was sad to see her go. I thought she'd really kicked up her game in the last few weeks. True, at first I didn't like her. She had an attitude that didn't sit well with me. When they showed her 'greatest moments' montage, I was reminded of why I initially didn't like her. But she shaped up, played well, and apparently grew two extra arms in the process. Did anyone else notice all the arms in that shot of her doing her hair? That's pretty cool.

So, Ruben vs. Clay. The final showdown. I can't pick a favorite. Although Clay annoys me more and more these days. I dunno. We'll see next week. After three hour-long episodes of the show.

Flip. Everyone on Creek lives happily ever after. Except Jen. She didn't make it. And my tv will never suffer through being stuck on that show again.

C.T.