Friday, November 23, 2007

The True Meaning of Thanksgiving

During this Thanksgiving holiday, I have discovered the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

It apparently means this: Strangers, please come knock on my door.

Yesterday (Thanksgiving Day), it was about 10:00am and my doorbell rings. I'm still in my pjs. I am not expecting anyone. My family isn't expecting me at their house until later in the afternoon.

Naturally, I am confused.

I creep up to my door to look through the peephole (I have to hunch over because the top of my door is a window, and I don't want to take the chance that whoever it outside of my door will see the top of my head approaching the door), and I see those two Jehovah's Witnesses that came by a couple of months ago.

They did mention at that time that they would like to come by again sometime. Um . . . why is Thanksgiving a good day for this??? And before noon???

When I saw who it was, I creeped backwards away from my door and went back to my bedroom. It is Thanksgiving, JWs. I am in no mood to talk with you about your weird religion.

Expecially before noon.

Then, it was today. Just a few minutes ago, in fact. I am sitting on my couch, snuggled underneath my blankets, typing a blog. The shades are open on my front window and I can see this guy walk slowly by the house, staring at the house, obviously realizing that someone is probably home.

He has a clipboard.

Then I see him walk past the window again and up to my door. Doorbell rings.

I stay on the couch, typing my blog. Completely ignoring the doorbell because I do not care who he is, and it is warm underneath my blankets. I'm not getting out.

Then he KNOCKS. Um, if I don't answer the doorbell, chances are I'm not going to answer your knock, either.

He eventually wanders away. A few minutes later I see him across the street, trying the same thing at my neighbors' houses.

Here's a tip: If I don't know you, I am not going to answer the door if you are at my door. I don't care if my window is wide open and it is completely obvious that I am sitting in here watching you ring my doorbell. I have no problem NOT opening my door to strangers.

I don't want what you are trying to sell me.
I don't care if you have an "official" clipboard.
I don't want you to attempt to convert me to your religion.
I don't care if you are a boy scout.

I am not going to answer the door if I don't know who you are.

(I really did refuse to answer the door a month or so ago when I knew it was a boyscout out there trying to sell me one of those tiny $17 tins of popcorn. He might have been cute, but not cute enough for me to spend $17 on, like, three kernels of popcorn.)

My one exception to this rule is if you are the Fire Department and my house is on fire or something. Then I will answer the door, if, of course, the door is not on fire.

But not if you are the fake Fire Department. So don't even try.

Safety First.


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