Sunday, November 25, 2007

My weekend Airborne experiment

I'm a fan of Airborne. I didn't used to be, but I am now.

I don't do over-the-counter medication for colds and the like. All of that stuff makes me feel grody and drowsy, which to me is worse than just suffering through a cold.

That's one thing I like about Airborne. People can ask me if I'm taking anything for my cold, and I can say that I'm taking Airborne (whether I believe it's doing anything to help me or not) and that usually makes people leave me alone. You know, rather than trying to push their crazy drugs on me.

On my last client trip, my boss took me up to the Admiral's Club where they hand out Airborne for free. The idea here is that you take it before you get on the plane, then you don't get any of the diseases that are waiting for you on the plane.

The flaw in this plan is that unless they are handing it out to EVERYONE on the plane (including us disease-carrying peons in the back of the plane who can't get in to the Admiral's Club where the free Airborne is), the free Airborne is only going to be minimally effective.

My problem is that I usually wait too long before I start taking the Airborne for it to really work like it's supposed to work. I usually argue with myself for a day or so trying to figure out if I do or if I don't really have a cold.

It goes something like this:

"I don't feel good."
"Yes you do."
"No, I think my throat hurts."
"No, it doesn't."
"Ok, I just sneezed. And I think I wheezed."
"No you didn't."
"My snot is green."
"You are fine."
"I just coughed up a lung."
"Ok, maybe you'd better start taking some Airborne."

I've been feeling really run down and tired lately. Working anywhere from 50-70 hours a week lately has worn me out, and has left little time for exercise, eating properly, or even sleeping.

I've been able to get some good sleep during these four days that I've had off for Thanksgiving. And I've been feeling better. It's amazing what some good sleep can do for your health.

So, I decided that since I'm already feeling good and all I am doing this weekend is sitting around and resting, maybe it's a good idea to get a headstart on the Airborne for a change. That way if a cold (or even tuberculosis) is thinking about coming to get me any time soon, it will be deterred by my Airborne forcefield.

I have totally loaded up on the Airborne and I feel better than I have in a long time. In fact, I feel so good right now that I could probably just breathe on some sick people and my Airborne breath alone would start to boost their immune systems.

I hope that there are no detrimental side effects to overdosing on Airborne. That would ruin my whole experiment.

I wonder what you take if you are sick from too much Airborne . . .


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