It's like I don't even know myself anymore.

I was talking to my very Small Friend tonight via the cellular telephone-ograph, and she pretty much literally and physically MADE me join one of those myfacespace sites.

She is small but she is very persuasive. And a little bossy.

So, there you have it. I'm on myfacespacebook. Trust me, I never thought I'd see the day that this would happen. It's just not my thing.

I hate those sites.

But Small Friend enticed me with online Scrabble. She spoke of a world where I can play Scrabble with her online. I do loves me some Scrabble. And I do loves any chance to beat Small Friend with my wordsmithing.

So . . . otherwise, what does one do with a spacemyfacebook page? I mean, I've been set up with my own page for like, an hour, and I still have no friends.

Am I a myface loser? Should I have at least one friend by now? I had a pretty good day today, but now I'm at home with no friends on my spacebook page and I won't lie, I feel a wee bit rejected and insecure. This is not good for my self-esteem, y'all.

And I think I probably accidentally invited several people to be my friends as I was setting up my page. So when they check their email in the morning, I guess they'll have some sort of e-note from me asking for their friendship. But is it sad and needy to have to email people and ask them to be your friend on the interweb? If they are really my friends, should I really even have to ask for them to be my online friends? And if we are now friends online, how does that affect our non-interweb friendships? Can those worlds collide? Or is that a no-no.

I don't know the rules. Is it like what happens on the interweb, stays on the interweb? And vice-versa?

I don't think I asked these people to be my friends in the first place. Like, there was no exchange of "Hello. Will you be my friend?" when I first met any of these people. So why do we do this online?

And after I've asked someone to be my friend online, if they don't want to be my interweb friend, will they just ignore me in real life from now on? I'm a bit worried that since I've joined mybookspace I have just lost all of my friends because now I'm all up in their face pleading for their attention online, as well as on a normal day in the real world. And this will be the chance they've been waiting for to break up with me.

I think I'm scared to get a friend rejection. I hear you can say no to people who ask to be your friend. What if I check my email tomorrow and all of the friends I may have accidentally invited into my web of online friendships have very intentionally responded with a "no, I do not want to be your friend."

I'm not sure I can handle that rejection. I was better off not knowing that you didn't want to be my online friend, and your denial of our interweb friendship probably also means you don't want to be my friend out in the world, either. Essentially, you just broke up with me but it's all my fault because I went and joined myspacefacebook tonight and it led to us no longer being friends at all.

Can we at least talk about it first? How does that work on the interweb, exactly. Nevermind. Let's just break up. I'm sure I won't be able to find the "can we talk about it before you reject my friendship" message invite.

It's possible I don't want any interweb friends. I don't know what to do with people outside of the interweb, so how am I supposed to know what to do with people online? I feel like it's twice the responsibility to have to care for a friendship both in real life AND on the interweb. That's too high-maintenance.

Do people really care about my favorite TV shows, my interests, my favorite quotes? Don't you already know this about me if you're already my friend? Seriously, it's a lot of work to tell you people all of that information again by typing it in those little boxes on my page.

Is this page something I have to visit often? If you become my friend, but I don't come around for awhile, does that make me a bad friend? I already feel guilty about it if I forget to check on our online friendship tomorrow.

Although I don't really know what I'm worried about right now. I don't have any friends.

And where is the Scrabble? That's all I really want. I put a lot of work into this thing tonight, and I can't find the Scrabble.

This is all very stressful.

I think maybe I will be a facebook hermit. Just like in real life.

C.T.