Tyrant Thoughts

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- It makes me physically angry when people drive the wrong way down the aisle in the parking lot at the grocery store. People, it is clearly marked which way to drive. You are literally driving on top of the bright yellow arrow that points the opposite direction of the way you are driving. Why can't you just do it right?

- Pizza, followed by thrift stores with a good friend, followed by Starbucks, followed by a nap = a good Saturday. The nap is still to come. I'm all hopped up on Starbucks right now.

- It makes me physically angry when the birds eat all of my figs. I've watched the figs almost daily for over a month. And now they are gone. I hope they were poisonous figs this year. Or at least laced with laxatives. Although excessive amounts of figgy bird poo might be bad. I probably won't drive the Jeep anywhere for a few days, just in case.

- Oscar winner Cuba Gooding Jr. now stars in a Hanes commercial. This makes me not want to win an Oscar anymore. In fact, I think I'll stop trying.

- It's only a matter of time before I get a speeding ticket. I've lost the ability not to speed when I drive. But that might come in handy if a cop catches me speeding.

- I think Coke tastes better coming out of those tiny 8 oz bottles than it does coming out of the 12 oz bottles. I don't know why. But don't argue about it with me. I still haven't had my nap, yet.

- How do tiny little cicadas make so much noise? I can barely hear my Tyrant thoughts over all of the cicada screaming in my backyard.

- Apparently scientists have recently discovered that a T-Rex could have outrun David Beckham, had the two of them ever had an opportunity to, say.... have a foot race. But didn't we already know that back when Jurassic Park came out? Or was it really a question in anyone's mind that needed to be scientifically researched by professional scientists? Why can't they spend more time curing cancer, or something.

- I'd like to be the first to go on record to say that ancient horse-drawn chariots could not outrun a race car, if they ever had the opportunity to, say.... have a foot race. Please don't spend time researching that one.

- I don't know why bugs that are near death have to crawl out from where they hide to die in the middle of my floor. They come out, twitch around for awhile, then make a big scene about being dead for all to see. I could really do without all the bug drama.

And.... scene.

C.T.