Saturday, August 11, 2007

I think the Cheetos Cheetah and the Mini Focusizer are working together.

Has anyone seen the Cheetos commercial where the Cheetos Cheetah is at some sort of (what appears to be) rave with a bunch of pre-teens? They are all jumping up and down to loud music, like, 50 kids in there. Then the Cheetah eats a spicy Cheeto and the floor melts below him. He falls through the floor to another pre-teen rave, this time to the tune of heavy metal music.

It's obviously some sort of apartment complex housed by mobs of pre-teens who do nothing but dance around to loud music with a cartoon cheetah.

Where are the parents?

Where are the wholesome snacks?

Where are the police to enforce noise violations?

Clearly, what has happened is that the Miniature Focusizer has infiltrated home after home, stealing young children away by taking the place of the parents in these homes. The Miniature Focusizer befriends the munchkins, gradually gaining their trust day by day while riding in their backpacks and whispering anti-parent propaganda in their ears all day.

Then, the Miniature Focusizer lures the children away to this mysterious apartment complex where the children are brainwashed by loud music and rhythmic dancing . . . and Cheetos.

Clearly, the only way to avoid a mass epidemic of dancing, orange-fingered youth (after all, the chidren are our future), is to IMMEDIATELY bring ALL Cheetos to my front door, step away from the offending Cheetos, and leave them for me to dispose of in whatever way I see fit.

And, NEVER listen to talking cereal. But we've already covered that.


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