I got a jury summons today . . .

. . . except it's not addressed to me.

It was in my mailbox, with my correct address. But, it has someone else's name on it.

So . . . what does that mean?

Do I go? It's not for me, but it's at my house.

Am I required to assume a new identity and report to jury duty? Is the government telling me they'd rather that I be this other person and they want me to be on a jury? I don't really know all of the rules, but I assume that if you get a summons, you have to go, right? Even if it isn't technically yours . . .

But technically, it is illegal to open someone else's mail. So if I am truly supposed to assume this new identity, I will have to do it before I open the envelope, so that I can find out when to show up for jury duty.

I'm not really sure how to do that.

But what if this is a trap? What if the government is watching me to see if I will open this piece of mail, to then arrest me and haul me off to Illegal Mail Opening Jail? Worse, what if the envelope itself is rigged, and it sets off some sort of alarm which triggers a SWAT team to descend upon my house from air and from sea?

They'd have to come a long way from the sea, I guess. But the rest of it could happen.

But then, what if I don't open the envelope, and I don't show up for jury duty. Will they track me down by my address and come arrest me to send me to Jury Duty Absentee Jail?

OR, what if this other person gets in trouble because neither one of us show up? Or if I show up instead of him (or her)?

Why is this guy's (or girl's) name on my jury duty summons at my address, anyway? That's kinda rude.

Jury duty stresses me out. Good thing I've never actually had to go before.

I don't think I'll go this time, either. It's not really for me.

C.T.