A Lone Beef Incarcerated Fruit Bug Road Trip
The best part about a road trip is the stuff you see along the way. Funnily enough, most stretches of highway are about as interesting as dirt, since most of what you see is a vast expanse of actual dirt. But the trick to making a road trip interesting when driving alone is to see beyond the dirt. One must interpret the passing mileage in light of the surroundings, and with a touch of creativity.

Take my weekend whirlwind road trip to Oklahoma, for instance. This stretch of highway is quite possibly the most boring road on the face of the planet. But when I decided to take note of what I saw and experienced, whether I actually saw or experienced anything or not, the trip became slightly less boring, and a wee bit more entertaining.

Did you know that there are more run-down BBQ shacks per square mile in Oklahoma than in any other region of the world? It's true. Left and right, large towns or small towns, without even leaving the highway, I passed many a BBQ shack lining the road. While I'm not sad that I didn't stop at the Beef n' Bean quite literally in the middle of nowhere, I did appreciate the fact that it was named Beef n' Bean. It pretty much summed up the ambience of my journey. I was tempted to stop and order a grilled chicken sandwich with a side salad. But I wasn't sure my silliness would be appreciated by the locals.

Onward.

I've determined that Oklahoma must be extremely proud of their prison system. At one point I passed possibly the largest prison I've ever seen. Not that I've seen a lot of prisons in my day, but this one was huge. And proudly on display less than 100 yards from a major highway. Somehow, the massive fences and barbed wire and tall brick walls seem to defeat the purpose of security, when holding felons within a short 100-yard dash of freedom via the open road and wilderness of Oklahoma. But it sure was impressive to stare at as I drove by. Quickly. Ignoring the hitch-hikers in striped suits.

Onward.

Somewhere near downtown Okmulgee I witnessed a strange sight. By 'downtown', I mean the few miles of town where the highway is lined with old, small businesses, abandoned buildings, and a few old homes. As I passed through this 'busy' commercial district, I was startled to see a young boy, maybe twelve years old or so, ride quickly down the sidewalk on a horse, cross four lanes of busy highway traffic without waiting for a stoplight, then gallop off into the neighborhood on the other side of the highway. This isn't something I see living in a large city. This isn't something I expected to see in this small non-rural part of Oklahoma, since I had just driven through a much larger rural entity of Oklahoma where horses consistenly line the road in open fields. I found it odd. Had I not been in Oklahoma on a road trip, I don't think I would believe what I'd just seen. I wondered if he was being chased by an escaped convict who'd hitched a ride on the highway.

Onward.

In addition to Lone Ranger Children on Horseback, and abundant BBQ shacks, I also noticed a plethora of fruit stands. They exist in clumps along the highway. I'd go for miles without seeing any fruit stands. Then there would be several in a row. Obviously in fierce competition with each other. It was kind of like the Starbucks of rural Oklahoma, only with fruit. I wasn't aware that Oklahoma was a hotbed for the production of luscious fruits in all varieties. But these fruit stands would leave one to believe that any kind of fruit you could possibly imagine is freshly grown and available along the highway right there in Oklahoma. Who knew?

Onward.

Now, to say that I made the trip alone would not be entirely true. I did pick up quite a few fellow travelers along the way. It seems the insect population of Oklahoma enjoys traveling at a faster rate of speed than they are normally able to travel on their own. I was delighted to have an on-going load of bugs hitching a ride on my windshield. It seemed to be a larger volume of bugs than I am used to, although I noticed that the size of the individual bugs was smaller than when I travel through Louisiana. Unfortunately many of them did not survive the initial impact. They seemed unprepared to grab on and ride in an effective way. But a few did manage to make it to a new destination before letting go of my windshield or wiper blade. I was glad to be of service in the Oklahoma Bug Relocation Program. Although it would have been nice if they had chipped in a little for gas.

As you can see, the BBQ shack bonanza, Shawshank Redemption flashback, free-range wild children on horseback, dueling fruitstands, and a plague of traveling insects made for an extremely interesting roadtrip.

Way more interesting than dirt.

C.T.