The Amazing Yelling Argument Race
Ok, which team doesn't have any major issues on this season of The Amazing Race? Um, none. Not one normal, happy-go-lucky team in the bunch. Well, except for the annoying Clown team. But they are not normal. Just annoyingly over-the-top happy-go-lucky. So I guess it's good that they are clowns. Otherwise they'd be annoyingly happy-go-lucky regular people, and that would be weird.

Of the remaining teams, in no particular order:

David & Jeff- These guys are too boring. I almost don't know who they are. That's a huge problem among the other over-dramatic teams. They need to do something weird or annoying to stand out more. They at least need to yell at themselves or others more, to fit in with the rest of the teams.

Monica & Sheree- They keep pulling the "we're married to professional athletes, but we're just like everyone else" woe-is-me card. We don't know who your husbands are. And we don't care. Why are they there, anyway? Do they need the money? I doubt it. Shut up and play the game.

Kelly & John- These two have successfully yelled at each other the entire trip, with the exception of five minutes when they were both asleep at the same time. Yet as John lept from the bungee tower last night, Kelly proclaimed (yelling, no less) proudly "That's my future husband!" Um, yeah. You guys are a great match, destined for a happy life together.

Reichen & Chip- Or as I like to refer to them, Mister Mister. This happily married couple has got a mean, aggressive streak. So much so, that one of the Misters grabbed wee Millie in the Great Facre Scuffle, and got a cut lip in return. Calm down, Misters. No cat fights, please.

Steve & Josh- This father son duo is annoying, plain and simple. Their "we've hated each other our whole lives, until The Amazing Race came along" schtick has gotten old. Shut up and play the game. And quit yelling at each other.

Tian & Jaree- First, weird names. Second, prima donna models. Third, heavy smokers. Fourth, also yelling at each other non-stop, with the exception of last night when they pulled the pass off of someone else's carriage and therefore literally stole the carriage right out from under the team already in the carriage. For that two seconds, they seemed to get along. Why do so many teams hate themselves? Why torture yourself with weeks of travel around the world, with someone you argue with constantly? Yeah, that sounds fun. I know a few people I'm not too fond, and there are probably more out there who aren't too fond of me. Sign us up!

Millie & Chuck- Ok, too good and wholesome to be true. Who dates for 12 years without getting at least engaged? Especially being so young? Seriously, they're like, 12 years old. They've only dated each other. Are they still unsure of each other after 12 years? If that's the way to do it, I will be 108 years old before I get married, and I'd better start dating someone yesterday. Of course, Millie's asthma will probably kill her before the trip is over. I thought she was a goner during the first asthma attack last night. The fourth or fifth should definitely have done her in. She's definitely got spunk. And lot's of phlegm.

Steve & Dave- As nice as they are, their over-weightness and bad knees will be their downfall. Poor guys. Maybe all of the other teams will get lost for the rest of the trip.

Jon & Al- The Clowns. Truly nice guys, apparently. So far. I'm just waiting for Mister Mister to try that grab n' scratch move on one of them, though. I'd love to see the Clowns go off on some of these other whiney complainy teams.

The rest of the teams yelled themselves into last place each week, resulting in plane rides home.

What? Oh sorry. I said, THE REST OF THE TEAMS YELLED THEMSELVES INTO LAST PLACE EACH WEEK, RESULTING IN PLANE RIDES HOME!!!!!

Seriously, given the opportunity to travel around the world for free, spending time with someone I enjoy, with a million bucks at stake, I'd be doing a lot less yelling, and a lot more enjoying of the opportunity. What in the world are these people yelling about???

Shut up and play the game.

C.T.