The Amazing Moley Lichen Race
After last night's episode of The Amazing Race, it is clear to me that none of the teams this season are good at this game. The only reason all of the teams are not in last place is because, 1) it's physically impossible, and B) the teams not in last place are only not in last place because they happen to accidentally make less mistakes than the unfortunate team who made the most mistakes and got the boot. No one used skill or planning or cooperation or amazing feats of strength to accomplish anything.

To sum up the episode, everyone was lost, everyone followed someone else who was lost, everyone tried to be sneaky and fool other teams into thinking they weren't lost, everyone hoped other teams would get more lost, everyone argued with their teammate, everyone yelled at the other teams again and then some more, and everyone eventually happened to stumble onto the pit stop to call it a night. Everyone, that is, except Overbearing Father and I'm a Jerk of a Son, who got to go home.

I also learned that Reichen and Chip are big gigantic babies. With big gigantic tempers. And everytime I hear 'Reichen', I think 'lichen', which is some sort of fungus algae lifeform. Therefore, I attribute those qualities to Reichen, who has yet to prove he is above these qualities. Plus, watching actual lichen do this race would be more entertaining and peaceful than all of these angry, overdramatic teams.

Millie has a giant moley mole. Right on her lip. I didn't notice it until the camera zoomed in on it last night. But it's huge. And Chuck is afraid of sitting in a race car cockpit with another person. Claustrophic in an open-air, fast moving vehicle. I was a bit confused on that one. I'm thinking these two needed to pick a different race. One where they won't die of asthma attacks and paralyzing fears of enclosed spaces. Every leg of the race opens up a new weird issue for them.

I must say I'm disappointed with this season. Too much complaining. I don't even like any of the teams enough to care who wins. I think the only thing that will help me enjoy the remaining episodes is if the Clowns do the rest of the race dressed as clowns.

C.T.