High Fashion: The Mis-Matched Socks
Yes, I've managed to make it in to work today wearing trouser socks that don't quite match my trousers ('pants' for those of you unfamiliar with the term 'trousers'. 'Pants' socks just doesn't sound right). At any rate, the socks don't match my pants. Or my shirt. The sad thing is, this is not unusual for me.

First of all, let me explain why I'm wearing socks at all. I have a couple of pairs of shoes that require thin socks to be worn with them, to keep the shoes from falling off of my abnormally long and skinny feet. These shoes go with pants only. Other shoes do not go with the particular pants I'm wearing today, and my toenails are in a state of polish disarray, requiring them to be covered. They are not presentable for open-toe shoes at this moment. They need emergency attention, and I've not had time to operate since they became deathly chipped and unprofessional. So, don't think it's weird that I'm having a sock issue today, as though you don't wear socks with shoes and pants, to hide your feet on occassion. Trust me, the open-air toes would be worse than the shoe-sock debacle I've got going on right now. Normally my pants are long enough to hide the socks anyway. But lately my pants have seemed too short. And today, my blaring un-matching socks are making quite a bold statement. Maybe I got taller in my sleep last night, rendering my pants offensively short today.

So, because of the toenail issue, and the 'wader' pant issue, I had no choice but to go with socks and shoes today. Unfortunately, I have a history of sock-shoe issues. Well, actually I have a history of scatterbrained mishaps of stupidity, sometimes manifesting in the form of sock-shoe issues, as well as many, many other issues.

My freshman year in highschool, I was at a brand new school in a brand new city with brand new people who had no idea who I was. My family had moved to a completely new state after my year in the eighth grade. I was forced to leave behind everyone I knew, as well my status in school as not quite popular, but not quite a loser, either. A success, if you ask me. So highschool for me started as 'the new girl', in a large school, in a large city, being largely without any friends or status. This is the perfect scenario for my scatterbrained forgetfulnes to stand out in a large way.

It's understandable to have mismatched socks on occassion. We've all done this. You either can't see the true color of your socks in your dark bedroom in the wee hours of the morning, and you're too sleepy to care. Or you just grab the wrong socks without looking, then head out the door. But, it's a whole different issue when it comes to shoes. And yes, unfortunately I went to school one day during my freshman year at my brand new highschool with a brand new group of people, wearing two completely different shoes.

The worst part is that I didn't even notice until it was the last period of the day, while I was changing clothes for tennis practice. I walked around all day, oblivious to the fact that my left foot wore a shoe that didn't match the shoe on my right foot. I'd somehow managed to be cool enough to make it onto the tennis team. But this status was severely in jeopardy on this day when I looked down at my feet and noticed I had on one brown lace-up shoe, and one black non-lace up shoe. I mean, the two shoes were not similar in the slightest. It's not like I'd reached into my closet and grabbed two shoes that were close enough to be mistaken as the same shoe. The two shoes on my feet were just flat out not at all alike in any way. How I'd managed to pick these two shoes, and then manage to make it through an entire school day without noticing my error, I will never know. The world will never know. But that's what happened. I guess I should stare at my feet more often as I walk.

I was hugely embarrassed upon making my shoe discovery. I didn't know if anyone else had noticed my shoe issue throughout the day. Maybe the entire school had noticed, but not said anything to me? Were they all laughing at me? Will my reputation at this new school with these new people be New Weird Shoe Girl? I would never be able to live that down. Unless I made mis-matched shoes the new cool fashion trend . . .

Well, not only did I have to go all day uknowingly wearing the clashing shoes, after tennis practice I had to change out of my tennis clothes and proceed to put the brown and black shoes back on, to wear home. At this point, I wished I hadn't noticed the shoe mistake. Now knowing that I was wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe made it all the more unbearable to be out in public, for all the world to see my shoes.

As upsetting as this was for me, being the shoe freak, it seemed my shoes did not actually catch the attention of anyone important in my group of peers. I tried to make joking comments about it to people around me in classes, but it seemed to be a non-issue. My shoes were apparently of no interest to these people. I was not dubbed New Weird Shoe Girl. I did not make it in the yearbook as Freak of the Year. I did not win Most Likely to Not Work in Shoe Fashion. Everything was actually okay.

And I am now very careful to check each shoe every morning before leaving the house, to make sure they match. I will now apply this technique to my socks.

C.T.