Cake Party, ad nauseum
I swear my office is Elaine's office, from Seinfeld. Cake party for everything. No matter what it is, it deserves a cake party. Birthday? Cake party! Last day working here? Cake party! Made it in to work safely today? Cake party! Two days without a cake party? Cake party! Physically ill from too many cake parties? Cake party!! Get well, get well soon, we want you to get better . . . .

I try to be too busy to attend the cake parties, but I usually feel obligated to attend for birthdays and going aways and whatnot. I don't want to be too blatantly anti-social. I get most annoyed when I'm in the middle of something and I receive notice of the cake-tivities without much notice. Like, someone stopping by my office to let me know we have a cake party today at 2:00, and as I look at my watch I notice it is, in fact, already 2:00. Really, if we are expected to festively have cake together so often for so many occassions, a little notice prior to being force fed cake would be much appreciated. I need to schedule these cake breaks into my week, so that I can actually get work done around them.

Not only is it cake, but it's ice cream, too. Literally as much sugar as possible in one sitting. And these parties are always right after lunch, when I'm not hungry, having just been stuffed full of lunch. I just can't handle that much sugar right after lunch. Or within a week, for that matter. It's sugar overload.

At the last cake party, I decided I had to draw the line. I would attend, but not have cake. Why does eating the cake make me any more participatory than just being there with others while they eat cake? I thought this was a valid, even gracious, compromise. It didn't go over very well. People seemed surprised and quite confused that one wouldn't want mounds of cake and ice cream right after lunch.

Just when I thought I was finally getting everyone here past the "make sure the skinny girl eats plenty of food" obsession that ran amok here for the first year or so that I worked here, today's cake party was the revival of this phenomenon. It is apparently not acceptable for me to not want cake. I kid you not, FOUR people each made a plate of food for me and tried to push it on me, one after the other. I turned down every one. Left and right, I spurned the cake and ice cream. Seriously, the looks I got, you'd think I'd just kicked a puppy and then did a happy little jig about it right in front of everyone. How could I??? Not want cake?? It's a cake party!! YOU MUST HAVE CAKE!!!

No I mustn't. Simple as that.

C.T.