The Great House Experiment
I'm trying an experiment. I want to see if a semi-poor, non-profit employed single female can afford to buy a house in a major city, and manage to end up with something decent, not in the ghetto. It's a large, difficult task, but I'm determined to be successful. I refuse to pay any more rent.

My realtor and I visited three houses last night. Well, two were houses. The third one was disguised as a house on the outside. But once inside, it was a dark, stinky cave full of rampant pets of varying nature.

Now, this was an entirely different experience than when I used to go house hunting with my parents when I was a kid. It's been awhile since I've looked at houses. And now I actually have to pay attention to the entire house, rather than just which room will be mine, and if there is a tree big enough for a tire swing in the backyard. All of the rooms will be mine, and if there is a big tree, that means I have to water it.

In the process of searching for a house, I've done quite a bit of research. I have accepted that I am not going to be able to purchase my dream house, in a neighborhood that I would love, near friends and the 'hip' area of town. But, there are lots of other great neighborhoods containing houses I can afford, in neighborhoods I will enjoy. I am cool with that. It's a starter house. Meaning I will start there, and hopefully not still be there when I am old. It will be quaint and cozy, and it will be something I can work on, like Trading Spaces.

My first stage of research was to look online and find some houses in my price range. Next, I drove the neighborhoods to see if these affordable houses were in the ghetto or not. I was quickly able to rule out many, many houses. It seems the ghetto is quite affordable. But, even if it is affordable, I do not want to live there.

I've managed to narrow down the neighborhoods and focus my search in these areas. So when I met my realtor last night to look at some houses in these surprisingly decent neighborhoods, I expected to see a certain level of house. Not fabulously well-maintained or to my exact desires, but at least decent enough to move in without having to do any major work. I can handle the rest.

The first house was not expecting us, even though we had an appointment. The young teenage daughter was home. She let us in and warned us that it was 'a little messy.' Compared to the aftermath of a tornado, this was an accurate statement. But overall, the messiness didn't detract too much from my walk through the house. It merely provided an obstacle course of sorts.

It is very strange to me to be in a house of total strangers, poking around in their stuff. I mean, when I visit people I actually do know really well, I'm not opening cabinets, snooping around the bathroom, fumbling around in closets. So to be opening doors, looking in showers, examining things up close that belong to these people I don't know, it just felt really weird. I know this is how you look at a house. But my experience has been with apartment hunting, usually viewing model apartments, or vacant ones. I can open doors and cabinets and know I'm not looking at anyone's secret stash of personal items. Buying and selling a house is pretty much a total invasion of privacy.

We finished our tour of the 'messy' house. It wasn't too bad. I didn't fall in love with it, but I didn't hate it. I hoped the next two houses would be better.

The second house was vacant, and I was thankful for that. I felt like I could really check into it thoroughly. As I began my close inspection, I noticed cracks in the walls, and the smallest master bedroom ever. So now we have foundation issues, and a master bedroom not big enough for the master of the house. I would be doing well to fit my bed in there. Sure, I could spread out the rest of my bedroom furniture throughout the other bedrooms, but I prefer my getting dressed in the morning to not be a progressive journey throughout my house, going from room to room in search of all the pieces of my outfit for the day.

The rest of the house was okay. Again, not in love with it, but not hating it. It did happen to have large trees. Dreams of tire swings danced in my head.

The third house was the one I was most excited about. This one seemed like the most promising of the bunch, on paper. It was in a good location, and I liked the neighborhood. The street and other houses looked great. It was quite cute from the outside. I was very ready to fall in love with it.

We arrived a little before our appointment, but the teenage son was home to let us in. Our experience at this house was downhill from there. Upon entering the front door, we were greeted with the aroma of overwhelming, stale cigarrette smoke. I literally almost could not breathe as I hurried through this house. It was dark. It was cramped. And there were at least three or four animals running loose in the house. A dog, some cats, and maybe a wild boar. I couldn't really tell from all the dark hazy smoke lurking about. And of course, there was the animal smell that comes with many animals being couped up in a house.

We cautiously peeked into the bedrooms, which were 'decorated' with clothes, trash, pet litter boxes, and other random junk. There were smoke stains on the walls. The bathrooms were frightening. I suggested we move on to the backyard. I needed some air.

The backyard wasn't half bad. It had a nice detached garage that was actually nicer on the inside than the entire house. Perhaps I could convert the garage into the house, and park my car in the living room??

We made one last desperate pass through the house, then escaped through the front door. I immediately marked that one off of my list. I will never go there again.

So after my first experience viewing houses to buy, my question is this: If you are trying to impress a buyer, displaying your home as something enjoyable and enticing, luring people in to buy it from you, shouldn't you at least clean up a little? Maybe vaccuum? Dust? Let in some light? Do something about that weird smell? Make it at least a little bit appealing?????

I hope the next round of houses will be better. Less frightening. More inviting. These houses weren't even in the ghetto. I'd hate to see the houses in the ghetto.

C.T.