Wednesday, March 07, 2007

My Left Toe

Over the last couple of months, my big left toe is the culprit of putting FOUR holes in FOUR different socks.

Two of those holes in two of the socks happened yesterday and today. TWO DAYS IN A ROW.

It's ridiculous. And by losing one perfectly good sock, I've really lost the entire pair. I can't very well go around with just one sock on, or a mismatched pair of socks.

It's all quite perplexing to me. It's not like my big left toe has a jagged, razor-sharp toenail that would explain why it slices through my socks so often. I even gave myself a pedicure a couple of weeks ago, for the first time since I last wore flip-flops a few months ago.

I clipped, I filed, I painted the toenails. There is nothing there to cut through a sock. Just smooth, fabulous toenails.

I HATE toenails, by the way. So the fact that the big left toenail is now ripping up my socks for no good reason does not help me appreciate toenails any more than if it WAS a giant, jagged, razor-sharp blade of a toenail that was also slicing through my shoe.

I don't know what's up. But at least the weather will soon be warm enough for me to go back to flip-flops and open-toed shoes. I just can't afford to keep replacing so many socks. Because even though just one sock is getting holed, you have to buy the whole pair to get just one new sock.

Someone should open a One Sock Store. That would be genius. No one ever gets a hole in both socks at the same exact time. If you're toes are anything like my big left toe, you've probably got a drawer full of one socks, too.

Hmmm. I've got some free time these days, and I could stand to make some more money. Maybe I'll check into my genius One Sock Store idea.

Toes are dumb. This whole sock ridiculousness supports my premise that people shouldn't have toes. They are just no good.



Clare said...

This is where knowing how to darn a sock comes in handy. Although I have to agree, the One Sock Store is genius, as it could also replace those socks that mysteriously disappear in the dryer. I seem to have a lot of those incidents.

Craig said...

I agree, toes are no good and we shouldn't have them ... except for those few times in our lives when we're standing. I've found it useful to be able to maintain balance in order to not fall flat on my face or into walls or other people. But really, how often do we stand? Is that really worth putting up with the toes? I think not.

The Cynical Tyrant said...

FINALLY someone who understands my position on toes....

completely useless. except to people who prefer to stand. sometimes.

i would have a special section in my One Sock Store for replacing socks that never return from the dryer.

Gmama said...

One day when I win the mega millions I will wear only brand new socks. I believe socks should only be one time use items. They feel so nice and soft when they're fresh out of the bag. They're never quite as clean after the first use, and they never feel as good on your feet.

Rhealyn said...

i once saw this brand of socks that sold you three coordinating (but not MATCHING) socks at a time. the idea was to eliminate the pressure of matching and the stress of losing/developing holes. you should buy stock in this company, whatever it is called...