Wednesday, March 14, 2007

More thoughts on Bad Movies

I've some time to further analyze bad movies this afternoon.

1. Tara Reid is quite possibly the worst actress EVER. No exaggeration. I have just watched a computer generated monster out-act her in a really bad movie.

2. The fun part of IMDBing bad movies is that this usually leads me to more bad movies that I can inevitibly find on TV on some random station to DVR for a later date.

3. Again, ALL of the same people are in ALL of the bad movies.

4. I really like movies with alien bad guys, either computer generated or actors aliened-up. I've determined that the most common way for alien monsters to kill people is to shove some sort of sharply barbed appendage (usually a tongue) all the way through someone. It's genius, but overused.

5. When did Christian Slater become a B-list actor? I used to really like him. Now he's a leading man to Tara Reid. No good can come from that.

6. I love that on IMDB, the head shots of the really bad actors in these really bad movies are SO over the top, as though they think these headshots are what will help them make it big. If you pick one bad actor and scroll through his list of bit parts, then go back and look at his headshot, it's pretty hilarious. It's like at the moment he had his headshots made, it was before his string of bit parts in bad movies, and at that moment he was on his way to making it big. Then he was in one too many crowd shots of TV's Hercules as some sort of ancient barbarian, and it's just been downhill from there.

7. All bad movies throw in inappropriate, random, and gratuitous use of the f-word (Grandma doesn't use that particular bad word, so I won't either). It's like they think that a few randomly placed f-bombs will make their B-movie into an A-movie that will earn a theater release. Ha!

Don't get me wrong. I would practically KILL (not literatlly) to be in a bad movie. Even a LOT of bad movies. With a cheesy headshot on my IMDB page.

Love it.


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