Most un-therapeutic yard work EVER

I knew it was a bad sign when I woke up this morning and opened my front blinds to see the old Albino man across the street getting his paper without his shirt on.

Blech.

Working in my yard calms me. On a normal day. But not today.

Also, I might be the clumsiest person I've ever met. I tripped all over everything possible in the entire wake of where my yard begins and ends. Just when my legs had cleared of bruises, I added a large new one to my right thigh.

I didn't mow last weekend, so my grass was a little extra tall today.

Then, it rained a lot yesterday. So it was kinda still wet today when I got started. I was covered head to toe in wet grass, mud, and general yard shrapnel within about two minutes of getting started in the yard.

My weed-whacker would not cooperate at all today. I seem to have lost my good trim-line-winding skills, and I managed to wind the trimline in just such a way so that it wouldn't work right in the weed-whacker.

I also managed to put the weed-whacker too close to my leg when I was moving the cord (being clumsy and all), so that resulted in a few nice lashes on my leg from the trimline that seemed to hate me today anyway.

I bagged the grass in the front yard since it was so tall and wet. I don't usually bag the grass. I am bad at getting the grass from the mower bag into a garbage bag without dumping it all over my driveway . . . more than once.

I insist on listening to my ipod while I work in the yard, and today I lost count of how many times I turned the wrong way and jerked the earphones out of my ears. I also got wrapped in a bush with the earphone cords, in the front yard where people could could see me.

I finally decided to clear out the kudzu/poison ivy that had taken over my fence and the whole area behind my shed. It was messy and wrapped around everything for miles and miles and miles.

I'll let you know later if it's poison ivy.

I counted 108 thousand acorns in my driveway before I blew them away with my leaf blower, many of which I stepped on and it wasn't fun. I imagine squirrels will be coming from miles around to have a party at the end of my driveway.

It was hot outside.

I got sunburned.

The amount of yard therapy I needed today fell way short of what I got, and mostly I was just mad at my yard the whole time. So I think it was actually anti-therapy.

Oh well. I have ice cream around here somewhere.

C.T.