Dear Gas Stations,

Why do you have to ask me so many questions before I can put gas in my car?

Here's the thing: Getting gas is a regular inconvenience. We all have to do it, regularly, to keep our cars running. But no one likes to get gas.

It's annoying.
It's expensive.
I don't have time for such trivial things.

So forgive me if I don't understand the logic of the gas pump thingie asking me a bunch of questions BEFORE I can start pumping gas. This makes the whole event more annoying and inconvenient than it really needs to be.

"Debit or Credit?"
"Do you want a car wash?"
"How about some coffee?"
"Want a receipt?"
"What is your name?"
"How tall are you?"
"Are you really sure you should be wearing that?"
"Are you sure you don't want a car wash?"
"Will you be needing an oil change today?
"How about tomorrow?"
"Shouldn't you drive a more fuel-efficient car?"
"You should really at least clean your windows, don't you think?"

It's like a ridiculous small talk conversation with someone you don't want to talk to, just to get to that blessed screen that says "lift the lever and begin fueling." I don't want to answer those questions for most people, much less a machine that is holding gas hostage until I click the "yes" or "no" button enough times.

It is really none of your business whether I want a car wash or not.

Anyway, by the time you get to that screen that finally let's you pump gas, you've been standing there at the pump for five excruciating minutes. And these are five minutes that I could be watching TV, sleeping, or writing about something other than gas pumps.

Let me make a suggestion. Why not ask these questions (if you must ask) WHILE I am pumping my gas? That way I can answer the questions WHILE my car fills up with gas.

This saves time.

And, saving time makes me less annoyed. Which might also encourage me to come back to your gas station the next time I need gas.

I'm all for loyalty to situations that annoy me the least.

And for the record, I never want a car wash.

Sincerely,
C.T.