Observance of the Week
During a week filled with the worst traffic in the history of mankind, I've had ample opportunity to observe things around me as I sat idly in the Jeep, unable to do anything other than sit idly in the Jeep. I seriously think at times the absurdly horrific traffic has propelled me backwards and away from my destination. But then again, I really can't be sure.

In fact, I may still be in my car, stuck non-moving on the highway right now. I have no idea.

Among the things I've observed are some of the worst drivers ever, the type that weave in and out, cut people off, and wedge into non-moving traffic as though changing lanes in the midst of four non-moving lanes will somehow put them ahead of the rest of those sharing the suffering with them. Then there are the slow, meandering drivers, who allow 15 car-lengths in between their front bumper and the back bumper of the car a half mile ahead of them. This is not helpful, nor is it safe, if that is the intent. It's just annoying and really, really frustrating to the rest of us who are thrilled to finally see traffic moving at the amazingly fast pace of twenty miles per hour, yet we are stuck behind you puttering along at a 'safe' four miles an hour.

I've also observed how traffic is solely controlled by the weather, and by that I mean any kind of weather seems to create massive traffic back-ups. Sunshine, clouds, fog, rain. It doesn't matter. When cars are determined to not move, whatever the weather, they will not move. Rain especially seems to cause immense turmoil on the roads, and the reason for this is something I just do not understand. Sure, the roads are more slick, and we should drive with caution. But seeing as it rains here in Texas most of the time, you would think Texas drivers could handle this without freaking out and causing all traffic in the state to come to a complete standstill at the drop of a raindrop.

Today, it rained and consequently traffic just stopped. A few drops of water, and people go nuts on the road. Accidents everywhere, stoplights not working, people rolling along slower than I can walk. In fact, had I walked to work this morning, I would have made it in earlier than I did fighting traffic for an hour and a half. And by fighting, I mean everywhere I turned to get around a pile-up, I only found another pile-up. It was a never-ending battle, and I lost. A lot.

It would be safe to say that no one got anywhere this morning. All of Texas is on the freeway outside my office right now. Just sitting.

But out of all the things I've observed whilst in traffic this week, the Observance of the Week award goes to . . . windshield wipers. These I have found to be highly intriguing, and strange all at once.

Specifically, the invention of the back window wiper may be one of the greatest inventions ever. This may be one of my single favorite features on my Jeep SUV. It is so fun to get that thing going, whisking water away from my back window. It even comes with a water sprayer, like the front wipers, so that I can shoot water onto the window and clean it with the wiper . . . while driving. Sometimes, I just let it go, even when it's not rainy or particularly dirty. It makes me happy.

So as I've sat in a lot of traffic this week, I've noticed windshield wipers around me. And my question is this: why don't all cars, trucks, SUVs, automobiles have this back wiper feature? I don't know what I'd do without mine, as my back window gets terribly mucky in rainy weather. I've come to depend on the back wiper so I can see out of the Jeep. I don't know how I survived without it on all my other cars. Why don't other cars deserve this wiper, too?

I tried to find a pattern as to which vehicles have back wipers, and which do not. But I've been unsuccessful. Most SUV's seem to have these wipers, yet I saw a Hyundai yesterday without one. How do they drive?? I can't help but think they must never use the back window for seeing.

Then, one would reason, if an SUV has a back wiper for an upright window, then why don't trucks have these wipers for the back upright window? It seems that if an SUV would have a use for it, then a similar window on a truck should also have it. It's the same window. It surely has the same rain-collecting and dispersing issues as my Jeep SUV window.

I noticed some hatchback cars have a back wiper, but not all. And almost no regular cars have the back wiper, but why not? Does a hatchback rear window have any more or less tilt to it than a regular car, allowing more or less natural slough-off of water? And why would a car rear window have any less need for a back wiper than a hatchback?

I also saw some minivans with the wiper, and some without. Mostly newer models all had the wiper, while most old models didn't seem to have a consistent wiper ratio. I would especially think the wiper would be necessary on a minivan. Safety first, people.

These inconsistencies lead me to wonder about the function of the wiper. If some vehicles have a back wiper, yet others do not, is the wiper more for function, or for aesthetics? On my Jeep, the wiper is hidden until in use, so this leads me to believe that it is vitally important to the success of the Jeep when rain is upon the window. I have come to depend on it in all types of rainy weather. I didn't pay anything extra for it. And I cannot justify driving without it.

So, my observance of the back wiper has led me to hope that one day, all vehicles of any shape or size will roam freely with standard rear wipers. Wipers help, not hurt.

It's a Rear Wiper Revolution. So far, just in my head. But I feel confident it'll catch on.

C.T.