No . . . more . . cake . . parties . . .
I don't make New Year's Resolutions, but this year I strongly vowed to not do any more cake parties. I would blantantly refuse to participate. Or, run an errand to get out of it.

Of course, my birthday is this week. So unfortunately yesterday I was forced into a cake party . . . for me.

Every month, my office does one big cake party for all the birthdays in that particular month. This month, there are two birthdays: me and a co-worker. Personally, I can do without the attention around here. But folks here insist on the cake parties. So, cake parties we shall have.

Now, I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I do appreciate the thought, the effort, the time, the singing. Well, not the singing. But, I'm just not a 'cake-party' kind of girl. Just tell me Happy Birthday when you see me in the hall, and if you don't see me in the hall because I'm hiding in my office, I'm totally cool with that.

As long as I've been here, the cake parties have always been the same. They let us know to meet downstairs for the party, usually the same day, allowing no time for planning an escape or arranging my schedule to be there. I guess the assumption is that everyone needing to be there for the party is in the office that day, and everyone will always have time for cake. We all group together, round up the birthday people, then sing and eat cake and ice cream. I usually don't eat the cake or ice cream, just because I'm not a huge fan of cake or ice cream. I get stared at for this.

Well, yesterday's cake party was an effort at the element of surprise. Except the surprise was that no one was surprised. I went to check my mailbox yesterday morning and noticed that everyone's box had a bright orange flier in it, except mine. And I think if I'd looked closer, I'd have noticed that the other January birthday person did not have a flier, either. I saw that the orange fliers (which blinded me as I entered the room) had 'birthday', 'january', 'today', and '2:00' typed on them in big, bold letters, with my name and the co-worker's name on it, as well. Obviously, this was an announcement about the January cake party.

It was almost noon. The flier said 2:00. But, so far, I wasn't invited to my own party. There was no flier in my box, no one had mentioned it to me, nada. Yet, it was beyond obvious that there was to be a party. And the party would start soon.

I didn't quite know what to do with this. Was I supposed to not know about the party? All I did was walk in the room, and I knew. It was completely an accident, but I didn't know if I'd done something wrong by checking my box and seeing the nuclear orange fliers. I should have stuck with my 'never leave my office during the day' rule. Although, you'd think something that was supposed to be a secret would be printed on white paper that doesn't stand out from other papers in mailboxes, or perhaps by email where I definitely won't see anything.

Then I wondered if I should be mad that they had such little respect for my time that they didn't make sure I would be here during the time of my party? What if I had called in sick today? What if I had an appointment at 2:00? What if I was on the phone with someone trying to give us a million dollars, and if I try to end the conversation before 2:00, they give us nothing? It's not like all things revolve around cake parties.

I determined that I was annoyed at the situation, and most of all, I just wasn't in the mood for cake.

At 1:30, I wandered downstairs to return a cup to the kitchen. This was a recon mission. I figured if I wasn't supposed to know that there was a party, then it would be no big deal for me to wander through the 'party' room and survey the situation, as I might on any afternoon returning my cup to the kitchen. If I saw no party stuff, then obviously the radioactive fliers were incorrect. But if I saw party stuff, then I would know that today is the day for my cake party.

I saw no party stuff. I was confused. I went back to my office.

At 2:15, I still sat in my office, actually working. I was paged on the phone and asked to come proofread something. At this point, I knew this was a ruse to get me to the 'surprise' party, but I played along as annoyed just for the heck of it. He was asking me to proof something I'd already proofed, saying they'd made more changes. I asked him just to email it back to me to save me a trip to his office. He said that just couldn't be done, I needed to come down to look. It wasn't convincing, but I told him I'd come take a look.

I toyed around with the idea of waiting for awhile, until I could take a break from what I was working on. But then I decided that was mean, and I should let them have their fun cake party, at my expense.

As I descended the stairs, I was greeted by a room full of people cheering and singing Happy Birthday. The party stuff had materialized as if from nowhere. Everyone looked up at me as I came down the stairs, much like I was walking down those big stairs on the stage at the Oscars. All eyes on me. I was hoping I would trip for a distraction.

I think it was the first attempt at a 'surprise' cake party in the history of my office, and I just didn't know what to make of the whole thing. I went along with it, all the while wanting to run away. Too much attention on me! I tried to hide behind the other January birthday co-worker. But, eventually I had to give in and participate in the cake party.

I even ate cake.

So, thinking back, I'm assuming the call to proofread something was actually just to get me to the party. I can tell you if he calls me again to ask me to proof it, I am not leaving my office.

No more cake. There's no 'surprising' me twice.

C.T.