I am not too useless to almost kill my frog.

I came home today feeling useless and defensive. So I spent time mowing and cleaning up my yard to clear my head. But it took me awhile to figure out how to use my mower and that other weed-whacker thingie. You know, being useless and all.

Then I discovered that my new frog, Legs, had taken a vacation to the backyard, but he had not told me this ahead of time. As you know, the only rule I have for my friendship with my yard frogs is that they tell me when they are going on vacation so that when I come around with the weed-whacker, I don't accidentally whack off a leg. Or worse.

If I know where you are, I will not whack you.

So, as I uselessly weed-whacked in my backyard, I nearly whacked Legs. He jumped out of the way just in time, and that's when I saw him. He blended right in to the grass. And I almost killed him, or de-legged him, just like the other frog a couple of years ago.

But, it's really Legs's fault. I told him it wasn't my fault and that he should obey my rules. I cannot help it if he is going to put himself in the way of my useless weed-whacking.

It really is useless. The weeds and grass come right back again next week.

Is there ever a right answer to the question if someone asks you if you are defensive? To accept the accusation communicates that yes, you are defensive and they are right to accuse you of such. But to deny it as a wrong accusation in an attempt to defend yourself is, in fact, defensive.

Legs and I had this discussion today, after the near-whacking. It's a lose-lose question.

I need some pizza.

C.T.