A few more observations after giving thanks.
I had a lot of time to observe while in my Jeep on the highway, driving to and fro my holiday destination. Unfortunately I could not blog in the car, so I've had to make up for it today with excessive blogging:

1. I have to drink caffeine in order to feel like I am alert enough to drive safely for long stretches of time. I also hate to stop. I just like to get where I'm going. However, drinking caffeine makes me have to pee. Therefore the whole process pretty much falls apart about an hour after I've left my house. Even with the most careful planning, the bladder has a mind of its own.

2. Roadkill on the side of the road doesn't smell any better on the way home, after it's been there for a four day weekend.

3. Why is it that that I pass a cop every ten minutes along the highway, there waiting to catch me speeding, but when traffic is slow and I can't get around the slow cars to get up to speeding speed, and a 'Bubba' in a beat up pick-up truck is weaving in and out of traffic and driving on the shoulder just to be annoying, there is nary a cop to be found?

4. What do small town cops do when it isn't a holiday with that extra holiday traffic to keep them busy with speeding tickets?

5. I think the green highway sign I passed that said, "Hideaway, Next Right" pretty much gave Hideaway away.

6. The 20 mile stretch of road around Tyler, TX, that was conveniently torn up for construction and reduced to one lane each way, is not my favorite place to be in the dark, at night, in bumper to bumper traffic for two and a half hours, nearly sitting still in the Jeep. Thank you, highway construction people, for choosing holiday season for major highway roadwork.

7. Before getting to the construction zone, I passed the first warning sign that flashed 'Four Hour Delay Ahead'. The second warning sign said 'Possible Delays Ahead'. They were both wrong.

8. Halfway through the two and a half hours of standstill traffic (ie: the promised 'delay'), I discovered that I hate all of my CD's. I was forced to turn to the radio for distraction, to keep me from abandoning the Jeep and running naked into the woods, ruined by traffic insanity. I don't know why I would be naked. It just seems more dramatic that way.

9. After discovering the 'scan' button on my Jeep radio, I stumbled across a station that helped me with one of the greatest discoveries of my lifetime. It turns out that the theme song to Paradise Hotel, which I have previously awarded as the Worst Theme Song Ever, is an actual song by Eddie Money. Who knew 'scan' was so educational?

10. Radio out in the sticks near Tyler, TX is slim pickens. Thank goodness for DVD players in new SUVs. I was able to watch half of Beauty and the Beast thanks to the only slightly tinted rear window of the Expedition two cars in front of me. I have no idea what they were saying since I couldn't hear the movie. But I know the story well enough to love the part where the tea kettle and the candlestick fight for the love of the Beast, and they send Beauty packing back to her seven dwarves. I was almost sad when traffic started moving just as they put in Monsters, Inc. I've never seen that one before.

11. No question, Coca-Cola flavored Slurpees are the best car drink ever, and they never taste so good as on a roadtrip. Forget the plan, it's worth a bathroom break every ten minutes. Give me Slurpee.

C.T.