My Two New Favorite People
I realize I'm the last person on earth to jump on the Jessica Simpson bandwagon, but I am proud to admit that my new favorite people on the planet are Jessica and Nick, ala Newlyweds.

I don't have MTV, and believe you me, I flog myself daily for not having this channel. It's a sin.

Consequently, I have to keep up with my MTV via other people's MTV. I had heard talk of Jessica, and I'd even read things about her online and in magazines. I knew from what I heard, this Newlyweds phenomenon was reality TV I needed to get in on. I knew I was missing out on something really, really good.

Sunday morning I got the call. Newlyweds would be on in about an hour, and if I wanted to see The Jessica in action for myself, I'd better get to my friend's house, post haste. Foregoing even a shower and definitely not looking my best (but hopefully not being too stinky), I quickly dropped everything I was doing (um, sitting in my chair, drinking coffee, noticing a picture of Jessica Simpson advertising something in the paper) and I hurried over to watch my MTV.

Let me tell you, I was not disappointed. In fact, it was the best hour of my morning, as not one, but TWO Newlyweds were on for my viewing pleasure.

In the first episode, Nick attacked bees with a water hose and Jessica whined while looking confused. Then Nick and Jessica went to Home Depot, and Jessica whined while looking confused. Then something else happened, and Jessica whined while looking confused. She also misplaced a shoe, while it was on her foot.

In the next episode, Jessica took two days to cook one dinner, while whining and looking confused. Then Nick planned a romantic getaway for Jessica, apparently for their anniversary, and Jessica whined and looked confused. Then she looked confused while she told Nick he was the best husband ever. I was confused as to why Jessica didn't seem to do anything for Nick or remember to acknowledge the anniversary on her own, while Nick went all out to make it a special day for her. But I didn't whine about it.

All in all, two thumbs up for quality television viewing. I am heartbroken that I missed the entire season, but I can only hope it comes out on DVD soon. And hope that I also get a DVD player soon. So that I can have a Newlyweds marathon, of course.

Incidentally, the Jessica ad I saw in the paper Sunday was for a mall appearance here in town tomorrow. Yes, The Jessica will be right here, close by, at the mall, tomorrow. I'm debating whether I should leave work early to go catch a glimpse of her in person.

I can only hope that she is all that she is on TV, in person.

C.T.