They gave me a microphone and everything.

I was asked to emcee our office Christmas party and White Elephant Gift exchange today for our annual Christmas event.

Apparently I wasn't the first choice, which is why they asked me a mere hour or so before the shindig . . .

But whatever. They gave me a microphone and turned me loose in front of a room of literally 37 people. So they were pretty much at my mercy for a good hour or so.

Fortunately, I was amazingly entertaining, witty, charming, engaging, interactive, thought-provoking, and I managed to come up with a spontaneous haiku.

Yeah, they'll think twice about making me their second choice again next year . . .

Wait, I mean, I probably won't be their second choice next year.

Er . . . um . . . whatever. I was awesome. And I hardly made fun of anyone at all.

Well I didn't make anyone cry. And they didn't throw things at me. And they laughed, and I'm pretty sure it was because I was funny, and not lame.

Anyway, I might see if I can make Professional White Elephant M.C. my new career. It was way funner than spreadsheets.

Maybe I'll just emcee lunch everyday and see if they'll pay me extra for that.

C.T.