Friday, July 13, 2007

More Adventures with the Puppies

Today, I rescued the puppies from the place where we board them. They are mine again for the weekend. I don't know what they do all day at this place, but since they got home this afternoon, this is pretty much what they've been doing:

They are completely worn out. I brought them upstairs to help me blog about their adventures this week, but they are clearly not very good helpers.

Today's pick-up was pretty smooth compared to dropping them off last Sunday. THAT was a nightmare.

So, since the dogs are not awake to tell their stories, let me share that story with you. (It is MUCH funnier with my visual reenactments, but this will have to do for now.)

Of course it was raining when it was time to take them to the boarder last Sunday. So, everything was nice and muddy and wet when I got there The window of opportunity was from 4-6pm, and I got there promptly at 4:00 but still had to wait in line.

After I checked the dogs in for their stay, they told me to go around the corner and a man would help me with the puppies to get them into their kennel. At this place, you actually take your dogs to where they will live for their stay, you put them in the kennel, and you walk away while watching them look at you like you just abandoned them . . . forever.

It's heartwrenching.

(Daisy is snoring right now, by the way, as I type this. It is HILARIOUS.)

Anyway, I go out to where the old man who owns the place is directing people, and I wait. I tell him I'm bringing dogs in and they told me to come see him. I continue to wait as he keeps sending people back to get their dogs, but I just keep standing there.

Eventually he's like, "are you sure you have dogs with you?" And I said, "They told me inside that you would get someone to help me with the dogs out of the car."

He told me to go get them and he would send someone over if it looked like I needed help.

Keep in mind, it's raining. And they are PUPPIES who are not completely leashed trained, yet. And there are about a MILLION dogs all over the place, all of them barking at the top of their lungs. Oh, and CHILDREN running around trying to pet all of the dogs that walk by. And . . . lots of SUVs driving in and out of the parking lot.

It's like the obstacle course from hell.

So I go to the Jeep and start trying to get them out of their crate and hooked to their leashes. When putting them IN to the crate back at the house, they acted all pathetic-like, like they couldn't jump that high. They made me pick them up and put them in the crate.

They may be puppies still, but they are full grown. They can totally jump that high. Which they did as I got the OUT of the crate. Down and up. Up and down. In the Jeep, out of the Jeep. Like little Mexican jumping beans that are on crack and overstimulated.

They were all hyped up on the new surroundings and the BAZILLION dogs barking their heads off.

I finally get the leashes hooked on their collars, I get them both down on the ground . . . and Daisy's collar comes undone, leaving me holding the leash with no Daisy on the end of it.

Meanwhile, Duke has wrapped himself in and around my legs a few hundred times because I can't get the lock to catch on his leash so that he can't pull the leash any longer than it already is, while I am watching Daisy run around the parking lot out of the corner of my eye.

I start screaming to Daisy to come back while trying not to fall on my face in the mud because Duke has my legs stapped together with the unique pattern he has woven in and around my legs. Daisy FINALLY comes back and I hook her collar back together, fasten the leash, and I close up the Jeep.

Meanwhile, the old man has sent NO ONE to help me, while other people in line are watching and enjoying the show I am putting on in the parking lot for everyone. Think Charlie Chaplin or Buster Keaton. Plus, I have the paperwork for the dogs in my hand (which is in these plastic holders because it clips onto the outside of their kennel), and rawhide bones for them to enjoy during their stay.

So, we're off to where we're supposed to wait for the old man to tell us where to go . . . except there goes Daisy again, across the parking lot. Her collar came undone again.

Duke is still going nuts, by the way. And I dropped everything I was holding. And I'm wet. And muddy.

I call Daisy back, hoping she doesn't get run over by an SUV, or eaten by a big dog. And I decide I'm just going to have to carry her because her collar CLEARLY is not interested in staying on her neck, fastened. So, I pick her up with one arm. I'm holding Duke on his leash with the other arm. And somehow I manage to pick up the bones and the paperwork again, and hold all of this together. I may have sprouted an extra emergency arm or two. I can't really be sure.

We finally make it over to where I'm supposed to stand and wait (by the old man who STILL DOESN'T GET IT that I could maybe use a little help). By this time, both of my dogs are also barking their heads off, yet children still keep thinking it's a good idea to try and come pet the squatty, barky dogs.

I decided that if Duke bites off some child fingers while I am standing in the rain, in flip-flops, holding a 17 pound dog in one arm, playing tug of war with a 25 pound dog that is pulling as hard as he can to get away from me so that he can chase all of the other dogs that are walking by, while holding some bones, and paperwork, I don't really care. At least if he has fingers in his mouth, he might stop barking for a minute or two.

17 pounds of barking dog gets really heavy, really quick, by the way.

Finally the old man decides to stop waiting on his helpers to come help me, and he says he will take me down to their kennel himself. I assumed this meant he would also help me by taking one of the dogs. But I was wrong.

He did not.

So, Old Man takes off down the sidewalk, and I hobble along after him with Duke still twisted around me, and still carrying Daisy, hoping she doesn't wriggle free and make a run for the hills. Remember, she doesn't have her collar on. If she decides to bolt, she might be lost forever. And I would have to spend the following week tracking down a perfect replica of Daisy, then selling a kidney to be able to afford to buy her and overnight her to get her here before my parents get back from vacation, and then I'd have to train her to be just like the Daisy we currently know and love so that my parents won't notice that I lost their dog out in the sticks.

Fortunately, we made it inside the building with no escapees. But then, things got WORSE.

Stepping into the hallway of kennels just about blew my ears off. Think two solid walls of dogs in a narrow metal completely enclosed tunnel, all of them barking their heads off.

Plus, it stinks.

So, my dogs freak out even more. It is CRAZY loud in there. Another guy is in there picking up his two GIANT dogs. In fact, I question that they were even dogs and not some species of Kodiac bears.

Just as we get to where Old Man tells me is the kennel where my dogs will be staying, Daisy wriggles free and starts running up and down the hall, completely freaked out. The big dogs are out, and likely to eat her if she slows down, and she has no idea what to do.

Duke is running circles around me, still attached to his leash. My legs are kinda wrapped up like a mummy at this point. I had no idea his leash was 108 miles long.

But then I look in what is supposed to be their kennel (at least I assume it's their kennel since Old Man is standing over me and just repeatedly pointing into this particular kennel, which I can only assume is the sign for "please corral your animals and put them in there while I stand here watching you . . . without helping you), there is ANOTHER DOG still in the kennel where MY dogs are supposed to be. And as soon as Old Man opens the gate (Old Man is not exactly nimble, but he didn't even try to grab the dog), that other little dog squirts out and starts chasing Daisy around.

So, I'm screaming at Daisy to come here, but no one can hear me because of the chorus of dogs yelping like they've never yelped before. I'm also trying to ask Old Man if this currently occupied kennel is really where my dogs are supposed to be, but he can't hear me either.

I finally grab Daisy as she runs by again, and I shuffle myself and both dogs into the kennel (actually, it was more like a big flop that carried all of us in there), and I shut the gate behind me. I have just stepped into what is essentially a wet, stinky, prison cell with two manic puppies jumping all over me.

I have to believe the "wet" part was water, but since it was inhabited by another dog up until two seconds ago, I can't be sure I wasn't squatting in dog pee.

The puppies corner me and cling to me for dear life. I re-attach Daisy's collar again, knowing full well it will come off again in 5 minutes, which means we may or may not get the same dog back when I come back to get them in a few days. But at this point, I'm kind of okay with that.

I untangle Duke from me and his leash, and I manage to get all of the pieces of everything that isn't staying in the kennel with them, OUT of the kennel.

I kinda just cracked the gate open again and threw everything out, then I closed it again quickly behind me with me still in there with the dogs, trying to calm them down. Meanwhile, Old Man is just watching me, and if I'm not mistaken, starting to get annoyed with me that I am taking so long getting the dogs in the cage and me out of the cage. He finally grabbed that other dog, but still apparently feels no need to help the SKINNY WHITE GIRL WRESTLE WITH TWO HYPER PUPPIES.

Don't get me wrong, they are very good dogs. They were just completely over-stimulated, and I was completely unprepared for the chaos.

I eventually figure out that calming the puppies is just not going to happen. So, I inch my way to the gate and squeeze myself outside. Then I poke their rawhide bones back in through the gate holes, and I start to walk away.

That's when they gave me that look of, "why? how could you do this to us? what did we ever do to you? please don't leave us . . . "

Heartwrenching . . . I just knew they would hate me forever. Seriously, it was like a Where the Red Fern Grows, or an Old Yeller moment.

But, fortunately today was much simpler. I bought a new collar to bring with me for Daisy so that I didn't have to risk her other collar refusing to cooperate again. But when I got there, her old collar was magically staying on, so I didn't even need the new collar.

And they were VERY glad to see me. They haven't left my side all night.

Of course, Daisy has lost her voice from all the barking at the kennel. I think they just bark 24 hours a day while they are there, nonstop. It's hilarious. She's used to being able to make all of these cute whiney noises to win my sympathy for stuff, but now she tries to make noises and it just doesn't happen.

SO FUNNY. Her voice will be back in a couple of days, but for now, I'm just laughing at her. She's so cute.

Both of the pups got a bath when they got home because, well, they just stunk real bad. And since they seem to be glued to me for now, I'm not about that funk following me around all weekend.

Anyway, maybe they'll have some stories of their own later.


1 comment:

ron said...

BTs HATE kennels. They won't hate YOU forever, but they will harbor some animosity for an uncomfortable period of time.