Dude, where's my quarter?
It was time once again to get the oil changed in the Jeep. I hate doing this. Not because I actually do anything but sit at the oil change place and wait. But just because it's a maintenance thing, I'd rather be elsewhere, and it costs money. I really feel that considering the major expense of the car itself, once you buy a car, everything pertaining to the car thereafter should be free.

The very first time I went to this particular oil change place by my apartment, we'll call it Kwikie Lube, I lost a quarter. I sometimes have a quarter or two sitting in the cup holder. That day I had two quarters in the holder, but when I picked up the car at the end of the oil change and 'free' car wash, I only had one quarter. One of the Kwikie Lube employees had helped himself to one of the quarters.

I was annoyed, but of course knew there was nothing to do about it. Had he taken both quarters, I would have been less annoyed. Why just one of them?? You can't even buy a Coke with one quarter. If he asked me for a quarter, or for both quarters, I could care less if he has them. Or if he asked me to buy him a Coke, I'd gladly do that. But just the fact that he took only one of the two quarters, without asking, that annoys me.

I've been to Kwikie Lube several times since then, and not noticed any disappearing quarters. This time, I noticed I again had two quarters in the cup holder, and remembering what happened last time, I decided to leave them there, just to see if it happened again.

I left the Jeep with the oil people, and went inside to wait. I hate sitting in the chairs with the other 'waiters', pretending to look at Popular Mechanics magazines, so I stood by the window across from where I could watch them work on the Jeep, and where I could also watch the cars go through the car wash. Yes, I am an adult, but there is still something cool about watching the cars go down the line on that track, with the soap and the brushes and the water. It was fun to watch as a kid, and it's still fun now.

Naturally I don't act like it's fun. But trust me, I'm fascinated.

Of course, it may have been particularly more fun on this day because the alternative was watching professional poker on the waiting room TV. First, I had no idea professional poker existed. And two, I have no idea how it is justified to be televised as a sport on ESPN. Literally, this is the most boring thing on television. EVER. And it's just begging to be made fun of. So I will.

They showed a room full of poker tables, filled with a wide variety of poker players, staring at cards. I think ESPN knew there was a high boredom factor, because they showed pre-taped profiles of some of the 'big name' poker players, to break up the monotony of the card staring. They showed one story about a woman player, and apparently this is a big deal that she is a woman playing as a professional. She told the story of how she began playing when she was three years old, just barely able to see the top of the table. I don't know about you, but when I was three I was doing normal kid things, like playing in the dirt, poking at my little sister, petting puppies, and watching cartoons. Card games consisted of 'Go Fish', and that was only successful when I wasn't playing with the fish-shaped cards as though they were actual fish.

The next Player Profile was this scary old dude with long greasy hair, sunglasses, and a cowboy hat. His big claim to fame was that he could flick a card across the room at a banana, and chop it in half. Whoa. Definitely a great way to pick up chicks. Maybe his story was that he didn't have a knife at the age of three, so he turned to cards to cut up his fruit. Inspiring.

I quit watching poker at that point, and turned my attention back to the cars going through the car wash. Cool.

Eventually the Jeep was finished with the oil change and the car wash. They promise a '10 Minute Oil Change', but that was the longest ten minutes ever. They must have a different kind of clock.

I got back in the Jeep, glanced at the cup holder, and noticed that I was indeed down to one quarter. The other quarter was, in fact, gone. A-ha!! Gotcha.

I smiled about it. Again, there's nothing I can do. I checked to make sure nothing else was missing. Everything else seemed to be accounted for. But as I drove away, I again had to wonder why the Quarter Culprit only takes one quarter. Of course, if he takes one quarter from every car that goes through, in a day that's quite a nice haul.

But still, next time I think I will leave a brand new, ice cold Coke in the cup holder, instead of quarters. That way I get to keep all of my quarters, and the Quarter Culprit can have a Coke.

C.T.