Thursday, May 24, 2007


Not me, not for reals. But that got your attention, didn't?

I left the house this morning and about five minutes after I left, I realized my wallet was still at home. I put it in a different bag last night and I forgot to get it out and put it back in my purse this morning.

I have NEVER left my wallet at home.

I felt kinda weird. I felt a bit..... naked. My wallet goes everywhere with me, even though I never pay any attention to it until I need my credit card. Or change for my daily Coke.

My first bit of panic was to wonder if I had enough change in my desk drawer to buy my daily Coke this afternoon. Yes, THIS is where my priorities are....

Then I remembered that I had clients for lunch today, and the company would be paying for many Cokes for me during that lunch.

Phew! Dodged a bullet on that one....

Then I started panicking about other emergencies:

- What if I got a flat tire on the way to work? Or worse, TWO flat tires. How would I pay for a tow truck? How would I get home? Would I survive???

- What if the cops pulled me over for speeding? It's not like I don't speed all the time. Would THIS be the day that I get pulled over? Would they haul me off to jail for not having my license? No worries about being jailed for bribery. I had no money with me... (I seriously started trying to recall my driver's license number in case I DID get pulled over. I could start the waterworks, tell the cop that I have NEVER left the house without my wallet and that I am as upset with me about it as he is, and I also NEVER speed, but here's my license number that I have memorized to be in full compliance with your authority.)

(NOTE: I've had my license for 15 years and I have YET to memorize the number.)

- What if we get to lunch with the clients and everyone ELSE has also forgotten their wallet today, and all eyes fall on me to save the day, but I DON'T HAVE MY WALLET, EITHER???? I might get fired...

- Was I supposed to run any errands today? Or make any purchases today that are larger than the 13 cents that I know is in my desk drawer from leftover random pennies?

- What if I suddenly lost my memory, wandered out of my office and up the tollway to get lost somewhere in Oklahoma, with NO I.D.? Would anyone ever find me? Would I be found by some seedy stranger and sold into slavery, never to be heard from again?

Fortunately, I did not need my wallet today. I did not get two flat tires. I did not get pulled over for speeding. I did not have to pay for lunch. I did not lose my memory and wander off into the wilderness of Oklahoma. I did not get sold into slavery.

Plus, I found my wallet right where I left it in my house when I got home tonight, and I promptly put it back in my purse so that I don't have to freak out on the way to work again tomorrow.

Or risk getting sold into slavery again tomorrow.



Dayngr said...

LOL! That was great.

Roberta S said...

Glad the fates were with you, CT. But one word of advice. Don't even try to remember your license number. I swear my memory loss is a result of me trying to remember my S.I.N., phone numbers, my gas code, bank number, credit card number, land description, the day, the month, the year, etc.