Thursday, May 17, 2007

My Arch-Nemesis

I've told this story before, but today I have visual aids.

At my work, we have lots and lots of parking places. We have a parking lot. We have a garage. And we have coveted spaces up next to the building.

There are four of these coveted spaces, two on one side of the door and two on the other side. This means that two cars can park on either side of the door. Four cars total. They are parallel parking spaces, with a bit of extra room.

Whenever I see that ONE space is available against the building, I take it. I love this spot. I hardly have to walk at all to get in the building.

However, if I see there is just a little bit of room on one end or the other, or that TWO cars are already parked there where there are only TWO spaces, I park in another space. Like a normal person.

But, there's this VW bug that (every single day.... I kid you not) WEDGES in to the smallest crack of space, especially if there are already two cars in the spots. He'll cram in on either end, or he'll somehow maneuver in between two cars where there isn't at all enough room for another car (even a VW bug) to be. Some days, I don't know how those cars get OUT of the spots after VW has wedged himself in.

After I'd noticed this terrible parking job for awhile (and noticed this certain VW ridiculously close to my precious Jeep far too many times) I began to stake out the car to keep an eye out for who this person was.

And it was a DUDE.

Dudes, let me tell you this. I don't care how hot or rich you are, you will NEVER impress the ladies by driving a girly VW and wedging into ridiculous non-parking spaces just so you don't have to walk far, or for whatever your twisted reasons are.

Anyway, I eventually decided this guy was my Arch-Nemesis. It drives me NUTS (ok, not really but it IS annoying and it gives me something to obssess about at work) that he does this, when none of all of the total available parking spaces are far from the door anyway.

Seriously, I've seen him circling the building, waiting for a wedge of space. Why can't he just go get in a real spot? I think that even if he was the only car parking in one of the coveted spots, he'd still just wedge-in as though there still wasn't enough space for him.

So, last week on the way back from lunch with some coworkers, I saw him doing a lap around the building. And (I kid you not) I pointed and yelled out, "THERE HE IS!" Then I went on to share my story with those of my coworkers who haden't heard it.

Then, we walk into the building and as we walk onto the elevator... HE WALKS IN THE FRONT DOOR OF THE BUILDING. He narrowly missed getting into the elevator with us, and we giggled all the way up to our floor.

So, now that my coworkers are well aware of my Arch-Nemesis, they notice him doing his ridiculous wedge-park, especially when the wedge-park happens next to my Jeep. I've got a network going with the latest up-to-the-minute VW parking reports.

This morning I grabbed one of the coveted spots and I made sure to park taking up as much space as I possibly could between the curb behind me and the van in front of me. I do this every time I get one of these spots in an effort to thwart The Wedger.

(that might be his new name... I've been trying to think of one all day)

At lunch, I came out of the building to find this:

Note how his front right tire is actually ON the illegal fire line. And, you can't see it, but the Jeep's spare tire is on the back of the Jeep. So VW is literally about an inch from the back of the Jeep.

After I ran some lunch errands, I was able to get another of the coveted spaces, this time on the other side of the front door. As I parked I noticed The Wedger was nowhere to be found, so again I took up as my space as possible between the curb behind me and the car in front of me.

All afternoon I wondered if The Wedger would strike TWICE in one day. I work on the fourth floor, but I kept wandering over to the windows on the other side of the building to crane my neck, looking down towards my Jeep.

At about 5:00 I saw this:

(yes, I did grab my cameraphone, go down the elevator and outside just to take this photo)

Note that cars are closer together than they appear in the photo. The other car is right behind The Wedger's VW, where it was when I parked after lunch. I mean, RIGHT behind it. I have no idea how VW got in that spot unless he physically picked up his stupid little bug and PLACED it there.

He was still there when I left to go home this evening.

This is my Arch-Nemesis.

At least it's something to entertain me at work.



angelchrys said...

Wow...if ther was someone that irritated me that much and I caught them parking on the fire line, I'd be very tempted to take it to the building maintenance guy. The car would either get moved or ticketed. 'Cause sometimes it can be fun to be the tattletale. ;-)

The Cynical Tyrant said...

nah. right now it's more fun to take secret pictures and see how long the game goes....

Dayngr said...

Report the fool or get security to put one of those impossible to remove stickers on his window!