I have an interesting relationship with Ikea. I'll warn you now, it's not a happy relationship. And as many ways as I've begun this blog in my head, it always comes out sounding like this is the set-up to another silly blog about something that irks me. It's not.

I've been forced to think about Ikea alot over the past week or so. I've been forced to confront some issues I have about it. I've never been in an Ikea, and before six years ago I never had a reason not to go, except that there wasn't one close by.

In a few weeks it will be the 6 year mark of this. Some of you may know that story, some of you may read it here for the first time. Most of you probably don't know how or what happened that day. And all we really know is that my sister and her friends were on their way back to Waco from a spur of the moment trip to Ikea in Houston, and bad things happened.

So, I've kinda had this inner battle with Ikea. The only Ikea stuff I own is stuff I inherited from my sister: two little tables, some picture frames, some shelves. Should I blame Ikea for what happened? No. But sometimes I can't help that I do.

In two days, Ikea will open a store here in the Dallas area. It's been all we talk about at my office, namely because of this woman who has been camped out in front of the store since last Monday a week ago. The first person in line gets $2500 in gift cards. I've tried to join in and make light of the Ikea. After all, everyone else sees it as a good thing.

I've even come up with a list of things to do to entertain myself in regards to this crazy lady camping outside of the store. Some of them are:

1. Go vist her everyday during lunch and give her a different list of items I want her to get for me, if she doesn't mind, since she'll be there before I can get there on opening day.
2. Call the police tomorrow night and tell them someone is trying to break in to the store. She'll get arrested. I can steal her place in line.
3. Bring her lots of water so she has to pee a lot. When she leaves, I can steal her place in line.
4. Camp out next to her and cudle with her until she can't take it anymore, and she decides $2500 of Ikea is not worth sleeping with me.
5. Tell her there's been a mistake. It's really just a big Container Store. No one wants $2500 of Container Store.

See? Ikea can be fun.

I'm caught in a dilemma. A battle with my soul. I don't dislike Ikea. I want to be at peace with it. I've known it was coming to Dallas for over a year. I've had time to work up to it. Not only is it coming to Dallas, it is located about 30 seconds from my office. This thing I've avoided for this long is now about as close to me as anything can get. I can almost see the big blue boxy building from my parking lot. I've passed it many times going to lunch and running errands.

For the past 6 years, every time I see that Ikea logo, or hear people talk about Ikea, it's been a reminder of a very bad day. But, it's gradually become a part of my world, watching it grow from the field that was there, to the big blue box that is there now. And maybe that's been it's way of reaching out to me.

I want to go to the store, like a normal person. But I don't know if I can. I've thought about gathering a bunch of friends and making an Ikea outing to get me through the first time through the door. I think after I've gone once, I'll be okay. I'll see that Ikea is fairly harmless, and actually pretty cool. I will bring more Ikea into my home. But, I'm also thinking I'll go alone. That way I can freak out by myself if the need arises. And I can have a moment to wander the store in peace. See what my sister saw and did that morning. It had to be worth it. At least, I hope it was.

Most people I know are super excited about Ikea. Everyone in my office is thrilled. A few of my co-workers are planning to go to the store during lunch on opening day. They've got a whole plan worked out, involving comfortable shoes and whistles, I think. They want me to go with them, probably more to run interference than anything else. They don't know the Ikea part of this story. I don't know if I can go with them. But, maybe that would be a good way to go. They don't know, and maybe that is easier for me.

One co-worker brought her catalog to work, and we've been obsessed with it. And then I wondered why I didn't get one. I live close by. Apparently everyone in certain areas got free catalogs. I figured this meant Ikea didn't want me to come visit. I figured that was probably best.

But, Friday I got home and found a catalog in my mailbox. Since then I've gotten two Ikea grand-opening emails, I've seen it in the paper several times, and just tonight I saw a commercial for it at least three times. I think Ikea is calling to me. Reaching out.

I've managed to look through my catalog. There's so much good stuff in there, and it's so cheap. And it's opening week, which means free stuff and discounts. I do like that. Plus, the How To Shop Ikea section of the catalog mentions that you can take as much time as you need in the store, because Ikea salespeople will not come harrass you to offer you help or sell you things.

That may be just what I need to get me in the door. I would probably lose it if Mr. Ikea came over in a blue apron and offered to help me. They cannot help me. I am now reassured that they will not try.

I don't know if I'll go opening day, in two days. That may be too much. Is it stupid to be afraid of Ikea, to be hurt by it? Probably. But is it a real thing I struggle with? Yes.

I need an Ikea support group.

I think I'll go. Someday. Maybe by the weekend. I think my sister would be proud, and she'd definitely have a list of things for me to get for her.

C.T.

PS: The first 100 people in line get free chairs worth $99. People of My Church, get yourselves up there early Wednesday morning to be the first 100 people, so we can sell those chairs at our garage sale.