Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Life Lessons
I've spent the better part of the past 5 days in a hospital. Not because I am sick, but because my dad had hip replacement surgery. I have learned a lot about myself, about my parents, and about relationships in general over the past few days.

I spent much of Friday, Saturday and Sunday with my parents. My dad was coherent for some of it. My mom and I were awake for all of it.

I've learned that my dad is truly the amazing man I've always known him to be. He's had tons of visitors, some from people he's only known a few weeks or so. He's had calls and cards and flowers. People really like my dad.

I've also learned that my dad is human. He hasn't been able to do for himself the simple things we all take for granted on a daily basis. In fact, I've had to help him do some of those things. I've seen him be frustrated by this. I know it is hard. I've never seen him unable to care for himself, and I know he is not used to not being able to do his own stuff.

I've seen my mom stay by his side the entire time. She's had to do some things for him that she didn't necessarily sign on for in that whole "until death do us part" thing. And yet my dad today told me, "I just really love her." My parents have what many of us search for for so long.

I've learned about myself that I'm stronger than I think I am when it comes to sucking up and taking care of family. I REALLY hate hospitals, but I've had to get over that. I haven't flinched at anything asked (or not asked but done anyway) of me over these past few days. Although I can't say that being tired hasn't had it's affect on my attitude a few times.

I've missed a lot of fun things with my friends over the past few days, to be with my family, to sit with my dad, to spend time with my mom, to run errands. I've wanted to instill confidence in my parents that 1) I'm ok, and b) Let me help. I hope I've done that. I've learned that sometimes family is priority, because we love family, and there's no question of choice, really. When family needs you, you are there.

This morning my mom called and told me my dad was having a bad day. Yelly, refusing to do his physical therapy, just generally throwing a fit. Understandable, if you ask me. He's had a hip ripped out of his body and something metal put back in, and he has to have help to sit on a toilet for the time being. But I'm also sure the scenario was unpleasant for those he was yelling at and being difficult with, all of which took place while I was far away at work.

Tonight I went by to see him on my way from job #2. I didn't quite know what to expect. He had been moved to a new rehab hospital, so I would be seeing him in new surroundings. After the report from earlier in the day, I didn't anticipate walking into anything good.

But, I stepped out of the elevator to see a man resembling my dad, sitting in the hall, in a wheelchair.

My dad was out of bed! And, he had wheeled himself down the hall in a wheelchair to greet me.

It's possible he was lurking near the elevator waiting for his chance to escape. But, really he seemed pretty good. He wheeled around in his chair and took me on a tour of the floor, introduced me to his roommate and hospital staff, and showed me how far he had WALKED this afternoon. Once he got to the new hospital this morning, something got into him. The therapists had him up, and he took his first actual steps with the new hip. He walked all the way down the hall and stayed up for about 5 minutes. A vast improvement over the scene yesterday and this morning.

We sat and talked for a good while. He was in clothes, instead of a hospital gown. He was no longer hooked to any IVs. And, he had his freedom in a wheelchair to roll anywhere on the floor.

I was really proud of him. The tiny steps he took down the hall today were big steps for his recovery.

And, he is just about the cutest man in a wheelchair I have ever seen.

I've also learned a lot about the people in my life, not directly family, but who I would consider my family. I won't go into all of that. But, I've learned a lot.

Life teaches lessons. Sometimes it's stuff we really need to learn, even if we don't think we do. Sometimes it's just time to learn some stuff, growing up a bit more, perhaps. And sometimes it's stuff we already know, but haven't wanted to accept.

I already knew my dad was cute, but he is super cute in his wheelchair. Too bad he won't be keeping it for very long.

C.T.

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