Smells Like Jordan Spirit
Today I saw a big 18-wheeler truck with Michael Jordan's face on the side of it. Like a floating Michael Jordan head on a white truck. On the back of the truck was the back of Michael Jordan's head, as though if you were behind the truck you were watching Michael Jordan walk away from you.

Before I was close enough to see if the truck was labelled as to what might be inside the truck, I had to wonder why Michael Jordan is cool enough to get his head on several sides of an 18-wheeler truck. Is he touring the country in an 18-wheeler, like the Michael Jordan World Tour? Was he selling meat now, like Bo Pilgrim? Or perhaps he's a new spokesmodel for some other company that hauls things in big trucks?

No.

Once I got close enough to the truck, I saw that the side of the truck said Michael Jordan Cologne.

Cologne.

This was an 18-wheeler full of cologne, smelling like Michael Jordan. I knew he had cologne, I just didn't realize it got to ride around in a giant truck with Michael Jordan's floating head all over it.

Then I wondered what it would be like for a truck full of the Essence of Michael Jordan to tip over. All those bottles would break. Like a tanker spill. Except it would be cologne. I can't imagine that would smell as good as one would hope a tanker truck full of cologne would smell. It would have to be overwhelming, requiring gas masks for those called upon to contain the spill. It would be a mushroom cloud of Michael Jordan's smell. We would have to block off the area until the cloud dissipated. What is the half-life of the Spirit of Michael Jordan, anyway?

I guess mass quantities of cologne gets from place to place in an 18-wheeler, so maybe that's not odd. I just never thought about it before. But how else would it move about the country? It just seemed weird that Michael Jordan's cologne gets its own Michael Jordan-headed truck. Like it's fancy, or something. I mean, I'm sure somewhere in the country there is an 18-wheeler with several J.Lo heads on it, transporting mass quantities of Glo. Because this is the way fancy cologne travels.

I've never heard anyone say they wear Eau de Michael Jordan. Or say they even like the smell of it. Is there a need for an entire 18-wheeler truck full of the stuff?

I mean, really?? That's a lot of Jordan Spirit.

C.T.