Mouse. Can. Read.
I'm convinced the mouse can read.

This morning I arrived to work to discover that Algernon the Office Mouse had gone nowhere near the packet of mouse poison. It was untouched, and there was no mouse-ness to be found.

Now, don't be so quick to assume Algernon is gone. He's hidden before, and always comes back when I get comfortable again. I know he's still here. He's just toying with me.

I can only conclude that he left the poison alone because he saw 'MOUSE KILLER' really big on the package, and he knew not to eat it.

I also think he has gotten his own phone with his own extension, because today I heard a desk phone ring from that corner of my office.... and there is no phone in that corner of my office!!

There is also not another office near that corner of my office. There is a wall, then empty space into the gym. The only logical and reasonable conclusion is that Algernon thinks he works here because he can read, so he got his own phone. He's trying to take over my office in a Mouse Coup and force me out of my job. (truthfully, he could probably do it better than I do).

But that's not the point! It's my office! My job!! MY M&Ms!!! Get out!!

I am weary. I thought the poison would work, first try. My brain has never been challenged in this way before. Algernon is making me think in ways I've never had to think before.

Kudos to him for that. He is a worthy opponent.

But now, it's on...

Tonight I will leave a snack for him in the trap, luring him to the trap where he will no-doubt dine, but not get trapped. Then he will want dessert. I will flip the MOUSE KILLER packet over, so that MOUSE KILLER cannot be seen, and I will write DESSERT on the packet. Algernon will read that the packet is a yummy dessert. He will eat. He will then be off-ed.

This intricate plan has to work.

Dessert has two 's-es', right? I'm sure Algernon is a stickler for spelling.

C.T.