If only I was MacGuyver....
I would have caught the mouse by now, with some ingenius mouse-catching plan hatched from the objects in my office. And a piece of chewing gum.

On Friday, this was the situation. But instead of leaving for the weekend with the trap empty, I decided to pull out the big guns.

I decided to sacrifice one M&M.

My reasons for this are as follows: Several people had told me that I should try candy in the mousetrap, as mice like candy. Now, the problem hasn't been that the mouse doesn't like the food offerings I've left for him on the trap. It's been that while he is enjoying the feasts I've prepared for him, he is somehow chowing down without springing the trap. It's all very annoying.

But, I decided to try candy, thinking that maybe candy has some magical powers that would magically trap the mouse. And what more magical candy exists than the sweet chocolatey crunchy goodness of a plain M&M? None that I know of, my friends.

I'm all about the M&M.

But, it occured to me, do I really want to give up an M&M? These small chocolate wonders are what get me through the day. I love them. I am them. I'm fairly certain I'm made up of at least 75% M&M. Can I part with one to trap a mouse? This was a dilemma. I would have to weigh the value of one M&M versus the peace that would result from ridding my life of the mouse.

And then I thought, what better way to get the mouse? The one thing I love most being the downfall of one thing I hate most. It seemed right. Justified. The perfect solution....

I would use an M&M to catch Algernon the Office Mouse.

I selected an M&M and went over to the trap. I sprung it before I did anything else, knowing that the second I got anywhere near it, if I did not spring it before trying to touch it, it would rip one of my fingers off in a cruel display of irony.

I then bit off half the M&M and proceeded to mash it onto the end of the trappy part of the trap. I mashed like I'd never mashed before. Yes, it was painful to see the M&M in such a state. But, the M&M knew what it was being called to do. I needed it to help me. It was an honorable death. A noble M&M.

I left the office on Friday full of confidence that this M&M would catch the mouse. There was no possible way this wouldn't work.

No. Possible. Way.

None.

This morning I arrived back in my office to see ..... nothing. Again.

No M&M. No mouse in the trap.

I lost a perfectly good M&M to the mouse.

I am very, very mad.

And I hope he doesn't discover my hermetically sealed stash of M&Ms hidden away in my desk. Should he venture to steal more M&Ms from me, he will invoke the true power of The Tyrant and wish he'd never been born.....

Or at least he'll see me cry.

C.T.