The Bachelor is Back
It's time now for my first reality TV review of the new season. I was very excited to watch the new season of The Bachelor last night. And the show did not disappoint. I highly recommend that you get involved this time around. Based on the promo for the rest of the season, it promises to be high drama fun that you won't want to miss.

Bob is the new Bachelor, returning from being a bachelor in pursuit of a Bachelorette a season or so ago. Consequently, the women on the show this season already know who Bob is, and they seem to have started stalking him in a psycho fashion way before they hit the cameras. Now, we all love Bob. Bob is great. But ABC did a great job of choosing 25 of the most hyper, whiney, aggressive, and of course, psycho women for our dear Bachelor Bob. Lucky for him.

Some standouts early on in the season include Leeann, who tracked down Bob's mom at the party to plead with her to help her get Bob. In her "I'm just not aggressive" whining, she proved to us that she is, in fact, highly aggressive, stopping at nothing short of coercing Bob's mom to get to Bob. Based on her showing in the promo for the rest of the season, Leigh Ann seems to have a viscious side, masked by her 'innocent, sweet' display last night. We will definitely have to keep an eye on her.

Kelly Jo, the ultra hyper, drunk early on, uber-aggressive girl pounced from the get-go. She literally stalked Bob all night, and when he wasn't available, she stalked his mom. Her favorite phrase seems to be, "Oh my God!", while throwing her hands up in the air and flipping her hair around. Bob's future wife? Let's hope not.

I give props to Christine for the whole 'saving herself for marriage thing'. But she probably shouldn't have opened with that. Or talked about it with such a strange, distant look in her eye. And she probably shouldn't have gone on in her camera interview segment about how as Bob's wife, she will be a servant to him, making sure dinner is ready when he gets home from a long day at work, complete with a foot rub. I fear she may be a Stepford Bachelorette. There was definitely a psycho vibe about her. Before the rose ceremony, she told the camera that she definitely felt a connection with Bob, and she knew she was just what he was looking for. She felt certain she would get a rose. Right after she was denied a rose and sent packing, she told the camera that she just must not actually be what Bob was looking for. How could that be??? She as so sure!

Psycho.

I'm sensing a knock-down, drag-out brawl at some point in the season between the afore mentioned Kelly Jo and Kristi, the other top contender for Most Aggressive Female. They took turns throughout the night trying to steal Bob away from the other girls during his 'one on one' time with each of them. Kristi then went so far as to tell the camera that she would definitely be worried if she didn't get one on one time with Bob, but she made sure she did get time with him, so she wasn't worried. Of course, she ruined that for most of the other girls by interrupting their time with him, but at least she's up front about her devious intentions, right?

Somehow Lanah managed to get a rose. All of her camera interviews showed her with this creepy gleam in her eye, discussing how she is ready to be married. To Bob. Ready to commit. To Bob. Not just to anyone. To Bob. She even said that to Bob's mom. I'm going to put her in the 'psycho' category, and hope she's brought her medication to the Bachelorette pad with her.

Ok, and what was with the twins? Sure, that could add an interesting twist to the show. But why couldn't the producers have chosen pretty, non-strange twins? These girls were odd. And not good looking. And they stuck together the entire time, like they come as package deal? Hello, Bob gets to pick one girl to marry. He can't be marrying twins. Not legally, anyway. Obviously Bob knows that, and he did not give them a rose. See ya, Doublemint Duds.

At the conclusion of the party last night, these girls have known Bob for all of maybe two hours, and each girl has spoken with Bob for all of maybe five minutes. Understandably we can see that each girl is madly in love with Bob through these circumstances. So naturally, it will be devastating for the ten girls who did not get a rose last night, who will not be marrying Bob, and who must go home now. Clearly, it is the end of the world for the ousted Bob Stalkers.

But the prize for Most Dramatic Exit by a Psycho Bob Stalker goes to Heather. I could see it coming. As more roses were passed out, but not to her, she was visibly becoming more and more unhappy every time the camera flashed her on screen. As the final rose went to someone else, the tears began to form in her eyes. She didn't seem to quite know what to do, but she jetted over to Bob during the 'say your goodbyes' time, and proceeded to mumble something to him, and hug him. But that was only the beginning.

Then she stood by the door waiting for the other girls to finish 'goodbye-ing'. She looked ticked. Then she had her camera interview, and proceeded to ask 'Why???' at least 108 times, and proclaimed repeatedly that she just couldn't understand how this could happen to her. By this time she was crying so hard she could barely speak, until she finally let loose, leaned over, and sobbed uncontrollably at the loss of Bob. I really think Bob made a good choice on that one.

What I've learned so far in this new season of The Bachelor is that when being spoken to, it's very important for every girl to scrunch up her face, smile too big, and squeal, while bending at the knees and shaking raised fists in a triumphant, cute-sy fashion. I do not do this enough, which is obviously why I do not have a bachelor of my own. I truly think it is the girl who can do this the most, and the most often, with the best delivery, who will win Bob.

I am looking forward to more of the story of Bob.

C.T.