Babies are not pets.
I'm learning a lot about babies these days. Not that I have any babies, or that I will have any of my own any time soon. But I'm at the age when many of my friends and relatives are entering into the Wide World of Babies, which means there are an increasing number of babies around for me to play with.

I used to be afraid of babies. They are so small and fragile and dependent on you for everything. I always felt like I would be the one responsible for breaking all of the babies I came in contact with, just because I didn't know what to do with them. Babies can smell fear, and when you hold one that knows you are afraid, they tend to choose that very moment to freak out and create a scene. Plus when you hold a baby, or play with a baby, lots of people are watching you. Babies by nature attract a lot of attention. They are often the focal point of a room full of people, even when they are not technically the star of the show. So for a long time I felt like I was on display, showing the world that I had no idea what to do with a baby when I had opportunity to be around one. Babies are scary.

But now I totally dig babies. I even dig small children that are slightly older than babies. I'm glad my friends and families are having so many babies for me to hang out with. The best part is that I get to play with them and buy them things and lavish much spoiling upon them, but I'm not responsible for taking care of any of the feeding or pooping issues, and there was no painful labor involved for me. It's a perfect situation. Play with them until they stink or need something to eat, then send them on their way with the people who can take care of those issues.

The thing I'm learning that amazes me most about babies is that they are little tiny people with their own personalities. The only thing I've ever taken care of is a dog. Well, also a hamster and a turtle, but neither of those ended up very well, so we'll focus on how well I took care of our family dogs throughout the years.

Dogs have individual personalities, but after awhile, you are pretty much familiar with their entire repertoire. Once you've had a dog for a bit, they really don't do anything new. You feed them, play with them, and teach them tricks. They are fun and sweet and great companions to have, sometimes even useful. But soon they reach the end of their capacity to impress you by developing new skills or doing things on their own. You won't come home one day and find that your dog has learned to read, or has cleaned your house for you. Dogs are great, but they are just not people.

Babies, on the other hand, are always doing new things that impress the heck out of us, even when it's stuff they have no control over, like growing a tooth. I recently read Operating Instructions by my favorite author, Anne Lamott. It's the story of her son's first year on the planet, which I'd bought for a friend while she was pregnant. I decided I should read it myself before I bought it again for my next pregnant friend, even though babies of my very own are not in my future any time soon.

Reading through this book of journal entries about the ups and downs and exciting little things that babies do and are about was remarkably like my near-daily updates from my friend about her almost year-old son. I love hearing about his daily endeavors amd milestones, even things like the status of drool production or how many times he woke his mama up last night just to say, "Bleshsesamier," which apparently in baby-aelic means, "Hello, I enjoy waking you in the middle of the night." Between the book and reports from new mothers I know, I've come to the conclusion that babies are quite an adventure. It's a great book if you want to know about what life is like for a mother with a newborn, in a medium where you can enjoy the fun parts of babies, but you can also put the book down and walk away when the baby stories gets too real without any actual babies being in the room.

What's funny to me is how we talk about babies like they are little people, and not pets. Obviously they are people, and not pets, but essentially they start out in a pet-like fashion. Feeding, pooping, and sleeping, all dependent on others to work with them in these areas. Then it's like one day they realize they are a little person, and not a pet, and they do something amazing, like smile. Or form sentences in unintelligible baby gibberish. Or grab your finger. Or clap their hands together. Soon they're scooting around the floor, and doing things with purpose and meaning. Like playing with toys, or looking at pictures in books, or eating foods with names. And that's just the beginning.

They keep going, developing likes and dislikes, and figuring out tactful ways to let us know. They recognize us and respond to the people they like, as well as the ones they don't like. They get involved in activities, like story times and swimming lessons and play dates. Not to mention other important things like attempting to stand, and eventually taking steps towards walking. They have a schedule and social responsibilities. When you're a baby, everyone wants a piece of you. It's really quite demanding to be a baby.

Babies seem to have quite an agenda and a tendency to move from one thing to the next as they conquer one thing or another. And we know they do everything with a dedicated sense of purpose. What is amazing and surprising to us when we see our babies roll over for the first time has truly been in the works for quite awhile, long before it was on the schedule to be debuted in public. Discovering you have toes, as well as fingers, does not just happen by accident, my friend. It takes skill and discipline found only in the babies that have the desire to explore and get to know the world out there.

I'm amazed by the simple things they do, just in being babies. It's all stuff I've done myself, as I was once a baby, too. I just didn't necessarily realize it was leaving such an impression on people when I did it the first time.

C.T.