My paranoia

You may not know this about me, but underneath my everyday calm exterior I can work myself into a paranoid frenzy about almost anything.

My parents stopped by yesterday and we had a picnic out on my fabulous patio. They showed up with food, so who am I to turn away food and/or family? Especially after just finishing several hours of yardwork. I put away my yard tools . . . and then there was food waiting for me. Genius.

After the folks left, I took a shower to clean off the yardwork. And before the end of my ten minute shower I had convinced myself that my front door was unlocked (not being sure if I had locked it after my parents left), and that during the ten minutes while I was in the shower someone had likely walked in the front door and taken everything that was valuable, yet small enough to walk away with in ten short minutes.

I was shampooing and going over where everything was in the house, including remembering that for some odd reason my wallet was sitting on the couch, about ten steps away from the front door. I was calculating how much of my stuff I thought a burglar could get out of my house before I got out of the shower. And then I figured he probably had a helper, so that meant he could probably grab the TV, too.

I shampooed faster. I guess I wasn't SO paranoid that I thought I should interrupt my shower to go check on the burglar. But of course, everything was fine when I got out of the shower.

And I have no idea why my wallet was on the couch. It just doesn't go there.

I also lost my cellphone yesterday for about ten minutes. I looked ALL OVER the house, the garage, and the yard. And then (for whatever reason) I thought I should probably check the giant bag of grass clippings from mowing, just in case.

And there it was.

That has nothing to do with paranoia. But my cellphone doesn't go there and I have no idea how it got there (much like the wallet on the sofa).

I may never stop finding grass clippings in the crevices of my phone.

C.T.