Sale of the Century
My garage sale was a success. And I hope to never do that again. At least not for a very, very long time.

MAN, that's a lot of work! I'm still recovering.

But I sold a lot of crap (thanks to those of you who donated your crap to my crap!). And made a bit of cash so that I can pay some bills, and also go buy some much needed new threads. My clothes are so out of date, they can actually still be referred to as "threads". Like in the '70s.

I did not sell the computer desk. It was the ONE thing I absolutely wanted to sell, mostly for spite from years of suffering through banging my knee on the drawer nearly everyday. It sat by the sidewalk all day, looking ever-so-appealing. I marked it down twice. By the end of the day during my 1/2 Off Sale, it was priced at $7.50. Who wouldn't want a desk for $7.50?? But, someone ended up with it for free. When I closed down for the day, I put all the bulky junk by the curb for the trash. And by the end of the next day, all of it had been carted off by "after garage sale shoppers".

Whatever. At least it's out of my house.

The rest of the "treasures" that could be of use are now sitting at my church, donated for my church garage sale next month. Hooray!

Overall, the house is much less full of clutter. I still need to put it back together and clean, but I'm feeling good about the place. It's just so nice to get rid of stuff you really don't need anymore.

And, as every garage sale has at least one good story, here is mine.

Fairly early in the day, a man arrived with his daughter in tow, both dressed in traditional Middle Eastern garb of some sort. The man spoke some english, but he was using his daughter to translate.

He had in his hands two phones, a drill, and a digital camera (which I got for free and I'm pretty sure doesn't work, but I figured I could sell it anyway). All together this stuff was priced at over $20-ish, and it was still before 10am. WAY before bargain markdown madness.

He said: "You take $10 for this." He meant for all of it.

The daughter translated for me: "Will you take $10 for all of these things?"

I said: "$15". I mean, come on. He had TWO practically brand new cordless phones, a drill, and a digital camera. $15 was a steal.

He said: "You take ten." This was no longer a question. He was informing me that I would be taking $10 for all of it.

I said: "I'll take $15." Not because I really wanted the $15, but because I didn't like his attitude, and I knew the stuff would sell later in the day if he didn't take it. And because even if it didn't sell later in the day, I didn't like this guy ripping me off. I'd rather give it away later.

He moved towards the electrical outlet. "This work?" He meant the drill. He plugged it in. Of course it worked.

He said: "Fine."

HA!

Then he said: "Bag please." Also not a question. I was to give him a bag.

The daughter translated for me: "Can we have a bag for this stuff?" She seemed nice. I felt bad for her. She was probably 13 years old or so. You know her dad drags her to garage sales every Saturday and insists on paying no more than $10 for whatever amount of stuff he has in his hands, using her to translate.

I said: "Sure! You can have a bag. The bag is $5."

The daughter looked at me, like I was insane. The dad wasn't paying attention. He was looking at other stuff on a table.

I smiled: "I'm just kidding. The bag is free."

She laughed. "That's really funny."

I know. I'm hysterical when it comes to garage sale humor.

I began putting his stuff in a bag, and then I watched him. He had the drill still in his hand, and he had found an orange plug adapter thingie that I had on the table, marked with a sticker for 25 cents.

I watched as he put the plug adapter thingie on the plug part of the cord attached to the drill, then I watched as he tore off the $.25 sticker and threw it on the ground, and then I watched as he put all of it in the bag with his other stuff and walked off to his car. HE WASN'T EVEN SNEAKY ABOUT IT!

The daughter didn't seem to notice.

SERIOUSLY?!?!?

He makes a big deal about paying practically nothing for the "expensive" stuff. Then he thinks he has stuck it to me by stealing a 25 cent plug adapter thingie????

I could not stop laughing.

SO FUNNY!!

He sure showed me.

Thanks to all my helpers, Dad, Mom, and Boy J. Without your help I would have been outside in the heat all day by myself, dealing with the likes of that guy.

C.T.