Crazy, Part 2
Be sure to read Crazy, Part 1 first.

This is a series exploring the issue of if I am or am not crazy, and how much crazy I really am.

While I was in Cancun, I decided to read The Catcher in the Rye. I brought it with me. Yes, it is an odd choice. But then, I am odd.

Or crazy, some might say.

I've begun collecting old books, namely classics or old books I read when I was younger. I love the "library" variety of books. The ones from when I was a kid 20 (yipes!) or so years ago. Hard cover, well-worn, yellowed edges of pages. My mom would take my sister and me to the library every week during the summer and we'd bring home loads of books to read for the library summer reading programs. The books smelled like the library, and I loved that smell. I loved reading through books as fast as I could. No matter how many books I brought home that week, I read all of them.

I didn't so much play with other kids. I pretty much just read books.

I have to confess that my sister started the "old book" collection hobby. I guess I inherited that interest from her. I haven't pursued it seriously. And I don't buy expensive books. But what I like to do is shop library book sales, like when the city libraries sell old books that they have and that people donate. Or used book stores. I don't go very often, but I try to keep my eye out for cool old books. That cost a quarter or so.

The cheapness is what makes them super special.

So, I've started my collection, even though I don't read as much anymore. And so far my collection consists mostly of books that I haven't ever read before, but that I would like to read, or that I feel like I should read because society considers it a "classic". Like, Last of the Mohicans. Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn. You know the ones.

In my collection I have a really old paperback copy of The Catcher in the Rye. I think I did pay a quarter for it. I finally decided to read it. I just finished it tonight.

First of all, that dude Holden Caufield? Straight-up crazy. I loved it. He just rambles on and gets himself in trouble and makes no sense, but just keeps going along like he's ok.

Second, I won't ruin the story for you by telling you what's up with the "catcher in the rye". But you won't run into it in the story until way past halfway, so don't give up on it if you really want to read it and figure out what's up with that. And when you get there, be prepared for a "Rosebud" moment.

Third, his last sentence is pessimistically brilliant, and something I am sad to say I agree with right now. It speaks to me. But that could just be because I'm partly straight-up crazy, and I have a lot of heavy things on my mind right now.

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

It's a strange story and nothing really happens in it, but I found it oddly calming. However, if anyone ever notices that I start buying a copy of it every time I see it, and my cool old book collection turns into a ridiculous collection of multiple upon mulitple copies of The Catcher in the Rye (like Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory), you have my permission to borrow Angelina's straight jacket from Girl, Interrupted, put me away somewhere where I can't hurt myself or others, and give me a math proof to work on until I solve both the proof, and the reason behind my crazy.

C.T.